Monday, March 01, 2010

Headed to the Hospital

Part 1
Part 2

Finally we got the call that she was going to sign the papers, but we could not bring the baby home until Thursday. The birthmother wasn't being discharged until Thursday due to high blood pressure and wanted the baby to stay the night with her. We were just going to sit tight until Thursday, but were so bummed and waves of anxiousness would come getting me all stirred up. On one hand I could totally see her not wanting to stay in the hospital on the Maternity floor without a baby, and on the other hand I thought the longer she stayed with the baby I feared the harder it'd be for her to give him up.

*Honestly at one point I even thought that she might sign the papers, get her money, and try to leave with the baby. (That was my worst thought during the entire day.)

Pretty soon after that we got another call saying she wanted to meet us before she signed the papers...and we took off for the hospital.

By this time it had been snowing pretty good for awhile. The roads were snow covered around our area, but as we got closer to the hospital there was less snow. Daniel drove very cautiously and I kept thinking this is the day we are going to remember for the rest of our lives.

I kept texting people and telling folks that it would truly be a miracle if we got to bring our baby home, but to please pray that the Lord would work a miracle.

We get to the hospital and of course can't find the front entrance. The Emergency Room is plain and clearly marked, but the front entrance...well I'm not sure I ever really saw it. We went in the closest doors and I tried to call the numbers I had for our contacts that were at the hospital with no luck. The man at the front desk of the not front doors directed us to the main lobby.

I knew I was looking for Jan- whose phone wasn't working all that well. I didn't know what Jan looked like. We get on the elevator and there is a lady with a briefcase like bag and she just looked like Jan should look. She kept staring at us, but never said a word. (One of those awkward elevator moments.) We get out of the elevator and I call her. I'm staring at the lady who we just got off the elevator with and see her answer her phone. IT'S JAN. (Daniel and I laugh at the irony of meeting Jan in the elevator, but neither of us speaking.)

She had to talk to her husband and give him the scoop. (He somehow got mixed up in her plans because she was 3 hours from home when the birthmom went into labor and they were closer to the hospital than home. He wasn't very happy with the entire situation and this really made me mad....he was going to be inconvenienced and have to stay in a hotel one more day if we had to wait until Thursday to pick up the baby. Jan had to be there for the baby to be discharged.) I had to hold my tongue around him. I mean Jan had to apologize for his behavior. So rude. I'm really surprised that Daniel didn't say something to him. Anyway- Jan said she'd been married to him for 38 years and that made me feel even more sorry for Jan. I mean COME ON- we are about to get to see the birthmom of our baby and Jan has to take time to settle her grumpy hubby down. ugh. Definitely didn't help calm my nerves.

So we head downstairs to meet the social worker at the hospital. She is very nice and also has an apprentice with her. Then we all set off to see the birthmom. It felt like we had our own little entourage.

We get to the room and Jan checks to see if birthmom S is ready. She is on the phone so we give her some time. Jan is trying to make small talk and I just can't even think at this point. (sorry Jan.)

We hear that she is off the phone and go on in. She is beautiful. I can't resist going to her side and 1/2 way hugging her. (She had a c-section so she was still resting in bed and not feeling 100%.) She was quiet and a bit timid, but really sweet. She had some questions about us and we told her we'd been married almost 10 years and tried to have children, but couldn't. We told her we'd committed to being married forever and to never divorce. We told her that the baby would be the first grandchild on both sides and that his grandparents had already gone overboard on his behalf. She wanted to know if he would be around other children. I told her that there were other babies that have been born recently at our church and that yes, he would have many friends and pretend cousins as my best friend had an adopted child as well. She asked if she could contact us and we told her that anytime she wanted she could call us through the agency. She mainly wanted to know if we were going to love her son. I got choked up on more than one occasion trying to explain the love and prayers that have gone out for this little fella we've never even met.

She said her cousin was coming that he had been her rock and support through all of this. She would like for him to meet us as well, before she signed any papers. So we went out into the hallway and waited. (I think we left because she got a phone call or the nurse came in or something...It just seemed right for us to step out...that's all I remember.)

Then a guy about our age and about our height came walking down the hall. You could tell he was eyeing us. He had huge muscles and looked like the could break us in 1/2, but he had the kindest eyes. He walked up and shook our hands then walked into her room and spoke to her alone for a while.

He invited us in and we went over all the same questions another time. Plus a few more. It came down to them having one ultimatum. They had to have our phone number or else she wasn't signing. She wanted it as a way to contact us and keep up in the future. We explained that the last adoption had fallen through and we had given them our phone number only to be harassed, yelled at, cussed at, and them asking for the baby back declaring that we had kidnapped the baby. That we would have to talk about giving them our phone number, but that we would be comfortable talking through the social worker on 3 way. For some reason they didn't like this idea...still not sure why. Her cousin explained that they came from a hard working family and that their word was their word. That they would not come looking for us or searching out the baby to steal him away, but just wanted updates on his progress and well being. Almost as a comfort that the birthom had made the right decision. At some point I do remember saying that if it did work out to be a good situation I'm sure it would be great to have their info in case he had questions about them in the future, but we just wanted them to understand that we had been burnt so badly in the recent past.

Also the cousin told us that this was definitely a decision rooted in love. That birthmom S has other children and just cannot take care of a new baby financially at this time, but that she definitely does love this baby. We told them that they had our word that only good and positive things would come out of our mouths about them and their family. And that we were so grateful and thankful for the opportunity to adopt, love and care for this baby.

The room was full of peace and trust. Neither of those feelings were present in the hospital room in Georgia with baby Jeremiah. It was very different altogether.

He wanted to talk to her in private and Daniel and I wanted to talk in private. We discussed the risk of giving them our phone number versus not and going home empty handed. We agreed that we would give them our cell number and we let her cousin know after about 15 minutes of them talking.

Then we left the room and the entourage entered the room with all the paperwork and the notary. We anxiously waited outside the room. I paced the halls with pregnant women who were trying to get their labor going. All of us waiting to get a glimpse of our brand new babies.

More to come...
Part 4

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to let you know that I am so enjoying reading each and every post. I cant wait for the next post. Praying for you guys, all 3 of you.