Monday, November 14, 2016

Another Orphan Sunday Passed

Yesterday was Orphan Sunday in some churches it was celebrated. Surely they didn't celebrate, but maybe they talked about orphan care or ways to help with the orphan crisis. Yesterday was harder than I anticipated. I went to Project Yesu's Orphan Luncheon. I have been in the past as a supporter and also as a speaker. But yesterday I was just there to attend and support. Our ticket was purchased for us. All I had to do was show up. But this year showing up was hard. Because adoption is hard.

In February Daniel was traveling and met a young lady that had just found out about a crisis pregnancy. She asked Daniel on the spot if he/we wanted to adopt again. We had some hard conversations about what that would look like and what would happen if we moved forward. Ultimately even though there was fear, we decided of course we would do whatever it took to adopt that baby.

As I continued to communicate with her and become her cheerleader we would text back and forth. A few times I was able to just cherish her. Hopefully she caught onto God's love for her and not just for her unborn baby. She had some ups and downs and we walked with her through those. As her delivery day approached she continued to text, but let me know she just wasn't sure what decision she was going to make. I felt in my heart for the last two months of her pregnancy that she was going to choose to parent. But we kept moving forward just in case. We completed all the steps to our homestudy and turned in all the paperwork and waited. She ended up having the baby and deciding to raise him. I found out on a Sunday. As I was walking into a restaurant after church with our family extended.

We said yes to this unexpected opportunity and now we have a homestudy and no baby. And then yesterday I thought it would be a good idea to attend an Orphan Luncheon where we sit and hear stories of adoptions. Some appear seamless and some appear messy. All are roller coasters of ups and downs and lots of that click, click, click as the coaster goes up and up and up. Just waiting and anticipating the thrilling adventure that is to follow. But this roller coaster came to a screeching halt and our family had to be unloaded from the cars. We are supposed to go back to waiting in line. But what is so dumbfounding about our situations is that we weren't looking for this to come our way. So now we are seemingly just wandering around the theme park, not even sure we should get in line for another roller coaster.

We are praying and waiting and anticipating what the Lord is going to do. I have hope. I have hope that His Word says will not disappoint, "We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengths our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." Romans 5:3-5 NLT

We have two incredible boys. And we know that the Lord will never leave us or forsake us even if they are the only two children we are asked to raise. The young lady that our lives intersected with by random needed us to be her cheerleader and that we did. We get to celebrate with her that a newborn came to life. That she had strength and courage to parent him. Her decisions and the road she was walking were way harder than any I have ever had to walk. But because of our interaction my heart strings have been pulled. And now I long for another baby to come into our family. Will you join us in praying for the right timing and the right situation to come our way and peace for our hearts. We have a homestudy that is good until August 2017 and we are just waiting. Not pursuing anything at least until the new year and we hear clearly which adoption roller coaster waiting line to get in. We need the Lord to make our path clear to us and to order our steps.

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Homeschooling Kindergarten 1st 6 Weeks Review

We started homeschool our oldest for Kindergarten this fall. It was a bumpy start in which I wondered if I was cut out for this and in which Manny asked to go to "regular school" multiple times. We finally got into a groove and I put less pressure on myself to construct an official school day. We travel mostly on the weekends but it bleeds over into the school week at times so that was one of our main reasons for homeschooling. But there are a myriad of other reasons it works for our family during this season. I have found a group of other homeschooling moms (& a couple of dads) who meet together once a month and also plan field trips as a group. This is super fun for us and is the only thing I have signed up for this year as I wanted us to get the hang of school and travel with the hopes of not being over scheduled and rushing around from one activity to the next. If you have met Manny in real life you know that socialization is one of the least of my worries as a homeschool mom.

This week we had a breakthrough though. Well the last couple of weeks. First of all I explained to Manny that regular school was from 8-3pm and that we were learning all day but that school wasn't an option for 5 year olds once August came. He seemed to complain less after this conversation and once he realized school was a thing we had to do, but our dinosaur unit really put it over the top. He was excited about learning and I had saved an excavation kit from Christmas which fit in perfectly. Something clicked in both of us during the dinosaur unit. I told Manny it was our last day to study dinosaurs and he said, "Oh man I wish we could learn more about dinosaurs." So after some quick pinterest finds we extended our dinosaur unit just like that.

We are using the My Father's World Curriculum and I kinda love it. It's not too much and once I got the hang of the routine of the unit it doesn't take much prep time at all. I love the fact that for a basic school day I can pick up my teachers manual and go with it. I also love that it gives me a framework for the units that I can build on. After the dinosaur unit we started the octopus unit. This has been our best unit yet. I have found that I enjoy adding onto our box curriculum but would feel lost with out it.

For the octopus unit I went to the library and checked out some books about sea life and octopi. I found some units on Pinterest about Oceans and the letter Oo as well as some real life videos of an octopus....there was a silly song as well which even little brother thought was funny. Manny is learning to read, he putting things together, and he's having fun. But something else happened this week. A connection was made to our Christian faith while learning about the letter Oo. We read a book on creation and made the realization that Octopi were created on day 5 with the sea creatures. We read some verses in his very own bible which say- Psalm 104:24-25 NIRV "Lord, you have made so many things! How wise you were when you made all of them! The earth is full of your creatures. Look at the ocean, so big and wide! It is filled with more creatures than people can count. It is filled with living things, from the largest to the smallest." And Psalm 69:34 NIRV "Let heaven and earth praise him. Let the oceans and everything that moves in them praise him."

So not only did we learn that there is a poisonous Octopus named the Blue Ring Octopus and they can change colors when they are in danger. But we also learned that everything that moves in the oceans praise him...even the octopus. This week has been so good for me for the mere fact that I needed a win. I needed an encouragement that we were on the right track. That this was the right journey for our family for this season. It may change, but I forever wanted to document that it's working or us for right now and when I'm having hard days or bad days I want to look back and remember the octopus.

Monday, July 20, 2015

Summer 2015

What a crazy fun summer it has been.

Here's some of the fun adventures we have gotten to go to or be a part of:

  • Manny did VBS and had a blast.
  • Church Camp in Florida at the Campgrounds where Daniel surrendered to ministry 20 yrs ago.
  • Church in Chattanooga, TN
  • Lunch with a friend about to adopt from Ethiopia
  • Revival in Camden, TN
  • Daniel leading worship in Valparaiso, IN and connecting with friends there
  • 4th of July pool time and fireworks with friends
  • Visiting my BFF Amanda in Ohio and helping w/ an adoption fundraiser
  • Church in Clarksville, TN
  • Lots of family time
  • Lots of extended family time
So much fun so much travel. So much life lived in just two short months. 

Grateful for this season. Grateful for this journey. 

Sunday, March 15, 2015

Product Disappointment

I remember as we were newly married and I was freely (ha!) giving advice to others I mentioned that expectations are on of the hardest things in marriage. We all have expectations of how it's going to be. Doesn't that happen a lot? Expectations then lead to disappointment if things don't turn out just as we had imagined.

Lately (after being married almost 15 years! yay!) I've been experiencing disappointment in something different altogether. Lately products I've purchased have been such let downs. I have seen the advertisement or personal recommendation from a friend and thought I need that or I want that. So I have gone ahead and purchased whatever product has caught my eye then only to get it and be disappointed. It didn't live up to my expectations. It didn't provide the results I had hoped or something about it was off.

I bought some shoes online recently that were to replace an older pair I had loved, but the new pair wasn't as comfy as the old pair and just didn't fit right. I bought a hair dryer (@ Ulta where you can try them out!) and got home and it had a broken piece in it so the switch didn't work as expected. Ulta was great and swapped it out for me which was wonderful. I bought new makeup as my old one just ran out and when I tried it it just didn't do the trick.

This even happened to my 5 year old son Manny who bought a toy with money he had saved up. The box said this new toy would be amazing, he thought, but it turned out to be a disappointment. It turned out to not work as expected and he was disappointed.

This world will leave us disappointed. Only God can truly satisfy. Nothing will fill that void we think needs filled by new makeup, new shoes, a new hairdryer or hair style. It will all disappoint. Only Jesus. Only Jesus. ONLY JESUS. I need this reminder EVERY single DAY!

Thursday, February 05, 2015

Moms Unite

Tonight I experienced a first. 
I saw a cute mom on Facebook and linked to her blog. 
She was adorable. 
Fit, cute, with well dressed children who smiled in the pics while they all ate ice cream. 
And my first thought wasn't I wish I was just like her. 
My first thought was- I wonder what her struggles are? 

Why do we think that when we sit behind a screen and see some other mother staring back at us that she is perfect? We start to compare ourselves to the Pinterest moms, to the crossfit moms, the neat freak moms, to the granola crunchy moms, the super spiritual moms, the essential oil moms. And in our minds we never measure up. Because we compare our lows to their picture perfect highs. 

The theme for MOPS last year was Beautiful Mess and I remember our table mom shared about comparison and the terrible nature of it. How we are all in this together and we are all doing the best we know how. I wish I could find the link to that blog. This isn't it, but is something similar I found when I went searching...

I just read another similar blog tonight: Looks like it's from a little over a year ago, but the theme is still valid and the fears of failure for some are paralyzing. We can never be good enough, perfect enough, we all need grace. We all need Jesus. We all need God's unconditional love. 

So tonight when I didn't immediately compare myself to the adorableness I saw on the bloggers blog. I felt like I'd taken a step in the right direction. We are all in this together. If we believe in Jesus we are the body of Christ and we should be lifting each other up instead of tearing each other down. 

Live the life God has called you to and don't try so hard to be anyone else. He loves you and created you just the way you are. Not perfect, but in need of a Savior. 

1 Corinthians 7:17 "Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him." 

Wednesday, February 04, 2015

Arizona in January; yes please.

The last few Januaries (how do you even make a month plural???) I have been stuck in the great white north as I liked to call it. I would sometimes get stuck in our driveway due to all the stupid snow. Some of my friends really loved the snow. I am not one of those people. It's not in me. I was very grateful to move to Tennessee in November and only get to see the 1st snowfall of the winter season near Chicago. So when we got the opportunity to fly to Phoenix and spend over a week of January in Scottsdale, AZ I was ecstatic.

We got to visit a church in Scottsdale where our buddy Freddy T. Wyatt is pastor. We have know Freddy T for many many years. He introduced me to Daniel's songs my junior and senior year of high school and then introduced me to Daniel at UT Martin in 1998. The rest is history- Daniel and I got married 2 years later.

Freddy T and his wife Susan have 4 kids who played so well with our two boys. It was a lot of fun for them to get to play and hang out. Manny makes friends quickly and most of the time Oakley goes with the flow....even when he has the stomach he did this trip.

The weather was great in Scottsdale temps were warm and we even wore shorts. But it did rain a few days while we were there which is rare for Scottsdale. I was just glad it wasn't snow. I may still be recovering from those harsh Chicago winters.

We got to see lots of cacti and gorgeous mountains. We got to be a part of their church's first ever contemporary service and Daniel got to lead worship in their main service as well. It was a good trip and good to be with friends we have know in different seasons of life. To have genuine care and concern for each other and to get to see how other families live life. For 5 years our friends were church planters in New York City. For 5 years we lived away from Tennessee in "Chicago-land" (specifically Valparaiso, IN & Grayslake, IL). They took a sabbatical about 7 months ago and were here in Clarksville for a time of renewal and rest. We are now taking a sabbatical here in Clarksville. The similarities are so interesting. The calling on our lives. The work God is doing. It's fun to discuss with others who get it and are also on this same journey of full time ministry.

For fun we got to eat at D'Lish, Burger Rehab Therapy, an AMAZING upscale Mexican Restaurant. We got to go to the Butterfly Wonderland, a rain forest experience where beautiful butterflies were flying all around and some even landed on you. I'm so grateful for this season of togetherness and for these adventures we get to be a part of. God is using us and it's very exciting to be a part of His plan.

Friday, January 16, 2015

Monumental Dates

My dad was a dates guy.
He once told a story that he saw a guy in a store and said hey- I can't remember your name, but your birthday is xx/xx/xx and told the guy his exact birthday. Numbers were his thing. He could remember them so well even though he couldn't remember the guys name he could recall his birthday. It was amazing how he would remember birthdays and call or text people on their birthdays. He seemed to never forget.

Today was his birthday. 01/16/54.

He would have been 61.

He was known to call someone at 12:01am or even better 2am to his best buddies. To make sure he was the first to wish them a Happy Birthday.

Last year for his 60th birthday he was in VEGAS with my stepmom.
I didn't call. I knew he was busy and having fun and who knows why, but I didn't make it a priority. Luckily I can say that is my ONLY regret of my relationship with my dad.

I loved him so so much. And he knew that. He loved me so so much and I KNOW that. But not talking to him on his birthday last year...never knowing it would be his my one regret.

They got back from their trip out west and just a week later he was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer. He took his first Chemo the first week of February and then in March I practically moved in with them and spend his last 6 weeks with him. I am so grateful for that time with him.

Firsts are hard. We have almost made it through them all. 1st Thanksgiving without my dad, my 1st birthday of my entire life without my dad, 1st Christmas without my dad, his 1st birthday. He died April 13th, 2014. I can't believe it has almost been a year. These last 3 months of holidays/birthday have been really hard. But like my grandmother said today we just keep surviving. We don't have any other choice. Praise be to the one who sustains us. Thank you Lord for memories, for tears, and for loved ones who understand.

Here's to celebrating his legacy and living a life of love and kindness just like he did.