Friday, January 08, 2010

It's a new day

I am coming to peace with the fact that Jeremiah Cole Doss was only supposed to be with us for 8 days, then return to his birthmother. That this was God's plan all along. That no one messed up His plan, but that was His plan all along. That God did not lose control for 8 days, but that this was all a part of His bigger plan. Not that I understand His plan at all, but I'm coming to peace with it.

1 Corinthians 2:9 However, as it is written:"No eye has seen, no ear has heard,no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him."

Surely this isn't the end of our story. Surely there is more to come. Surely there is maybe not a happy ending, but a resolution to our longing to be parents. I know that God's love is not based on what we do or don't do. It's so hard though to not think we are being punished for something. That this heartache was brought on by our wrongdoings, but that goes against what I believe about God.

Romans 8:35-39 "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:
"For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

He loves us.

He wants us to trust Him when we can't see beyond tomorrow.
And that is what I'm trying to do more than anything.

-And now it's time to go play in the snow. (There is more snow here than I have EVER SEEN! Still not sure about the final verdict as to whether or not I love it. It's kinda overwhelming to me right now.)


Inkwell said...

We love you both and are praying you through.
Go play in the snow!

Chas said...

In my own experience, it's the things I don't understand and that are so painful that make the blessings and His fulfillment in time so sweet! Stay strong. Still praying for you.....