This morning we woke up at 4:30am. Our plan was to head to the town where our birthmom lives and help her out. We are able to help up to what the law allows and were very specific about not being willing to break the law. She in no way was asking us to break the law, but was down on her luck. Her car has broken down, her rent is due, and she is doing the best she can. The thing I am most impressed about this woman is that she is not looking for charity. She is actually resisting. We are willing to help- we were going to go pick her up and take her to her car and somehow get it fixed today. There is a time difference between us and we called at 5:30 our time before we began the three hour journey, but this morning she had changed her mind. She wasn't ready to meet us. Every time this happens and we don't get to meet her I jump on the emotional roller coaster. I think she is wavering in her decision to give Jeremiah up for adoption. At the end of the day when we get to finally talk through things it's never about her adoption decision, it's about her not being ready to meet us. (I told our adoption consultant- that we aren't that scary and that we love her already- if she'd just meet us we could love on her...but I'm kinda glad she didn't want to meet today because I have a big zit on my lip.) Gotta make something good out of it right.
So she is contemplating moving in with a relative which would mean she moves out of state. We can still go through with our adoption if she decides to move, and we made it clear that we want to adopt Jeremiah, and we want her to be able to do what is best for her and her family. She is making some tough decisions and trying to do it all on her own. She is a Christian. I reminded her as the body of Christ we take care of each other at times. We have all had times when we have to rely on others. I told her that it says a lot about her character that she is so strong and has been able to take care of herself. She is a good mother and is always thinking of her children first. I love her heart and that she didn't want us to go out of our way to help her.
Will you join me in praying specifically that someone will step up in her life and be the hands and feet of Jesus. Someone that will help take care of her basic needs and that she will know what decisions are best for her and her family. She is carrying it all on her shoulders. I have no idea how hard that would be- I am so blessed to have support all around me in good times and in bad.