We are not traveling to Alabama.
On Monday we found out that there were some issues that the state of Alabama had with our homestudy. We also found out some information about our birthmom. She was having some health issues and found out that this will definitely be her last baby. The risk of her keeping the baby was too much for us to handle, and our agency was telling us we would owe at least $2,500 if the birthmom chose to keep the baby. We had horrific flashbacks of having our baby taken from us yet again.
Before we made a decision we were presented with a birthmom who lives in Indiana. She is due on Saturday. She has not had much prenatal care so we do not know if this baby will be a boy or a girl. She gave a baby up for adoption exactly a year ago and since she lives in our state we do not have issues with ICPC (legally traveling from the birthmom's state to home state.)
Generally the moment I post things on facebook or our blog they change. Please continue to pray for us and that our agency will be fair and honest. We have reason to believe that they are not being fair or honest. (I do want to give them the benefit of the doubt and am hoping they come through.) **Courtney with Faithful Adoption Consultants is not who we are having issues with. She has been our faithful support and is continually fighting for what is right. We are so grateful to have her on our side though all of this. Today there was a situation that occured with our agency where my palms were actually sweating I was so upset. I hate feeling like I'm being taken advantage of. At times I feel like we are too kind simply because we love Christ. Well He was bold and He loved justice.
I honestly hope that by reading our story you can see that trusting Jesus is the only way to live. I can not imagine living without HIM in our lives. We would have no guidance; we would have no hope.
We are content in Christ. Baby or no baby. Christ is our joy and we have learned the hard way that suffering will bring us even closer to Him.
We are not anxious about this weekend. For me I really have a feeling it's not going to happen. Maybe it's my way of guarding my heart. I love that we have people praying for us, but please try not to get too wrapped up in our story. I have certain blogs that I read and sometimes get too emotionally involved in their lives. I'd hate for other people to get their hopes up only to have them dashed. God knows what our weekend looks like and what He has in store for our future. We HAVE NO IDEA. But one thing we are sure of- HE WILL BE WITH US. He is WITH us! I hope more than anything that you know the love of Christ and that He will be your EVERYTHING. No agency, no birthmom, noone can take the love of Christ away from me. And for that I am eternally grateful.