Wednesday, February 17, 2010

A few more days...

We are not traveling to Alabama.

On Monday we found out that there were some issues that the state of Alabama had with our homestudy. We also found out some information about our birthmom. She was having some health issues and found out that this will definitely be her last baby. The risk of her keeping the baby was too much for us to handle, and our agency was telling us we would owe at least $2,500 if the birthmom chose to keep the baby. We had horrific flashbacks of having our baby taken from us yet again.

Before we made a decision we were presented with a birthmom who lives in Indiana. She is due on Saturday. She has not had much prenatal care so we do not know if this baby will be a boy or a girl. She gave a baby up for adoption exactly a year ago and since she lives in our state we do not have issues with ICPC (legally traveling from the birthmom's state to home state.)

Generally the moment I post things on facebook or our blog they change. Please continue to pray for us and that our agency will be fair and honest. We have reason to believe that they are not being fair or honest. (I do want to give them the benefit of the doubt and am hoping they come through.) **Courtney with Faithful Adoption Consultants is not who we are having issues with. She has been our faithful support and is continually fighting for what is right. We are so grateful to have her on our side though all of this. Today there was a situation that occured with our agency where my palms were actually sweating I was so upset. I hate feeling like I'm being taken advantage of. At times I feel like we are too kind simply because we love Christ. Well He was bold and He loved justice.

I honestly hope that by reading our story you can see that trusting Jesus is the only way to live. I can not imagine living without HIM in our lives. We would have no guidance; we would have no hope.

We are content in Christ. Baby or no baby. Christ is our joy and we have learned the hard way that suffering will bring us even closer to Him.

We are not anxious about this weekend. For me I really have a feeling it's not going to happen. Maybe it's my way of guarding my heart. I love that we have people praying for us, but please try not to get too wrapped up in our story. I have certain blogs that I read and sometimes get too emotionally involved in their lives. I'd hate for other people to get their hopes up only to have them dashed. God knows what our weekend looks like and what He has in store for our future. We HAVE NO IDEA. But one thing we are sure of- HE WILL BE WITH US. He is WITH us! I hope more than anything that you know the love of Christ and that He will be your EVERYTHING. No agency, no birthmom, noone can take the love of Christ away from me. And for that I am eternally grateful.

9 comments:

Mommy to those Special Ks said...

We are holding you in prayer always... you and your baby... wherever he/she is right now. Whenever God brings him/her home to you. We love you guys and are so proud of you.

Emily Doss said...

By the way- this (luckily) will not affect our grant. It will still be there whenever we are finally with our forever baby. :)

Heather said...

Very well written Emily... We will be praying for you all. You are such an encouragement that always seeks the truth in what God is doing and what He is going to do.

Cindy said...

What a ride, emotionally, financially, etc. I would be tempted to say, "don't even tell me anything else. When there is a baby, get all papers signed, approved, and deliver that child to my door. When the doorbell rings, I will be ready!" God is always in control, but He knows our humanity as well. He does not want you to believe in anyone but Him - no agency, caseworker, etc. they are merely His "tools" to do His mighty work. I am now praying for discernment and revelation so that you know who to trust as His true servants. Love you dearly....

Heather said...

Do it Lord, Do it Lord, Do it Lord, we are praying.
Do it Lord, DO IT, that your glory may be seen!

Christy said...

Praying hard for you guys! Love that you are following HIM and know that HE will be there for you NO matter the circumstances... Hold on to that and it will carry you! Praying for your forever baby, whereever he/she may be! love you CC

Anonymous said...

Emily and Daniel you are amazing in my eyes as well as Christ's! You have taught so many through your trials and tribulations of adoption to stay true to our God and your faith in him, even when it would be so easy for you to waiver. There is always a lesson to be learned wether through your expierences or someone elses and I truly believe Christ has taught all of us through you and Daniel these last several months. I'm proud to have you all as friends and prouder yet to serve Christ with you. Keep smiling those beautiful smiles and know that your time to share your hearts with your child is near wether this child or another. I love you both. Stacy

dottie said...

You guys have certainly been on a roller coaster but I know that there is a baby for you somewhere.
One of my favorite sayings is "God is in control" and with this in mind remember He is watching over you all. When the time is right you will find your child and the past things can all be forgotten.

I've got a question..looking at the babies listed on Faithful Adoption I notice the cost is different for each one. One was $16,000 and one $34,000. Just curious about this.

You are in my prayers and I look forward to you having good news to share soon.

Emily Doss said...

Dottie-
Great Question! Different agencies have different fees, and sometimes there are different fees based on race (AA- African American, CC- Caucasian are the abbreviations you might see.) Supposedly that is based on supply and demand, but it makes me a sick to think about that for very long. Also fees are based on the birthmother's health care costs and whether or not she is on Medicaid or has a C-section. There are also legal fees involved and those can vary as well based on how involved the legal paperwork and requirements are for the particular states involved....I hope that helps. It varies so much because all these factors come into play and are specific to each individual situation. I should do a post just about this...maybe someday. :)