Well well well. Where do I even begin.
This is a first for our adoption agency.
A first for our consultant.
And truly a first for our family.
We had to make a moral decision and we have a peace that what we did was the right thing, but it doesn't make it any easier.
The birthmom's rights were legally terminated. So it would have been an open shut case when they challenged it, but she had a change of heart (with many negative extended family influences and zero support for her adoption decision.)
So we had ample reason to fight in court. But were we really ready to face that battle?
We asked God for His will and wisdom and after waves of direction as to which way to go we decided that we would give the baby back because ultimately the birthmom told us she wanted her baby back. We could not live with the reality of keeping a baby whose birthmom truly wanted him back.
We made this decision Thursday night then we had to care for this sweet little baby until yesterday at 3pm when we drooped him off at the lawyers office. That was truly my darkest night. How could I calm his sweet cries when I'm not the one who will watch him grow and how could I meet his needs so easily if I'm not the one who he will call Mom.
We have cried harder than we ever have before.
There are no right answers. There are only questions. There is only faith that God will protect this child as he enters back into a very different circumstance than what he had for 8 days with us.
I woke up with his sweet little face on my mind.
We are truly grieving.
Thank you for your prayers.
--I will NOT be answering questions at this time and right now I can't take any judgmental or hurtful comments so I have taken off the ability to comment for this post. Please just pray for us. I have felt prayers the past 24 hours like never before.