Doss Family Journey.

I've been tagged

2012-01-18T21:03:00.001-08:00

Maybe this will help me get out of my blogging rut 0f 2011.....

I've been tagged by Kelly so I thought I'd at least answer the questions....

11 Fun Facts about ME:

1. The first conversation I had with my husband he jokingly said we would never date. :) Never say never.

2. One of my favorite books is Randy Alcorn's Safely Home.

3. I have had my two best friends for almost 20 years.

4. I lived in the same state or 30 years then moved 8 hours away.

5. The movie Bella changed my life.

6. Daniel and I were on the cover of a magazine promoting True Love Waits after we were married. (We both signed the cards as youth and followed through with our commitment.)

7. I accepted Christ as a 20 year old and immediately read a book about Grace.

8. I love to journal and have kept all my journals since 5th grade. (Last time we were home Daniel found the ones where I was boy crazy and had a good laugh.)

9. We have been a part of two church plants and have seen them both grow to at least 500 people. Watching people's lives change because of Christ gives us purpose and fuels us.

10. I am terrible at going to bed early, and get mad at myself often for staying up too late.

11. I love early mornings, but due to #10 I don't get to enjoy them often enough.

OK, and now the questions for those of us who Kelly tagged:

1. Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla ice cream; Chocolate kids

2. What is your profession and is it what you always wanted to do? I'm a stay at home mom. I love it and am grateful to be able to do it, but it's not something I always dreamed I'd do.

3. Where is your dream vacation locale? Iceland- someone once told me Iceland was green and Greenland was icy. I think I need to go see for myself. :)

4. Favorite food/recipe...and feel free to share the recipe! I LOVE carbs and Italian food, but am trying to not eat quite so many of that variety.

5. Favorite Scripture or quote? Job 42:2 "I know that you can do all things, no plan of yours can be thwarted." & Acts 4:12 "Salvation is found in no one else, for their is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved."

6. First thing that comes to mind when you hear the word "diet." BLAH. :(

7. Do you have a bucket list? If so, what's 1 thing on it? not really, but I would love to go snorkeling again and would love to learn to snow ski...but I'm generally too chicken to try.

8. What is your favorite color? turquoise right now, my whole life it's been yellow. Yellow and turquoise make a good pair I guess. I just can't not say yellow since I'm such a loyal person I feel like I'm cheating on yellow. (My poor bridesmaids had to wear yellow dresses----sorry ladies.)

9. Last movie that you saw? Swordfish, it was actually pretty good.

10. One pet peeve you have is...? Fabrics/blankets that are so soft they catch on any rough skin on your hands or feet....oh and mildewy smelling clothes. yuck.

11. One thing that makes you smile is...? My husband bringing home flowers randomly.

11 Questions if you want to answer questions.

1. What's your favorite book?

2. If you could have dinner with 6 people who would they be?

3. If you were given $200 on top of your regular budget what would you spend it on?

4. If you were given $200 that you had to give away who would you give it to and why?

5. What was your favorite Bible story or children's book when you were growing up?

6. What's your favorite blog or website?

7. What's your favorite restaurant and item off the menu?

8. What is your favorite day of the year?

9. What was your favorite celebration of 2011? (think- wedding, party, shower, etc.)

10. What is your favorite sport to participate in or watch?

11. What is your dream car---that you would really have to drive around town?

Consider yourself tagged if you are reading this and aren't a spammer. :)

It would also be fun to hear from....

Brenda

Sunny

Haley

Deborah- ok Deb you haven't posted since Manny was born...that was 2 years ago. We need some updates!

Mom---you should totally start a blog. Answer these questions as your first post. That would be fun!

{The Rules}

1. You must post the rules.

2. Post eleven fun facts about yourself on the blog post.

3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post, and then create eleven new questions to ask the people you've tagged.

4. Tag eleven people and link them on your post

5. Let them know you've tagged them!

Things I never want to forget

2012-01-10T14:58:00.000-08:00

Manny is almost 2! I really can't believe it. He is mimicking lots of words and saying lots of fun things. I dropped the milk the other day while trying to carry the groceries in and said- oh shoot. Manny replied- oh shoot. (oops.) Glad it wasn't something worse coming out of my mouth. :)

I NEVER want to forget that when he first said banana he called it a ba-nagh-a-nah. That a pig and a drum are both called noises that he makes with his mouth closed...there's really no way to even spell it. It's like boom boom and oink oink but without any real word coming out and it sounds exactly the same.

He is so smart and so big and so awesome. He loves his magna-doodle and all of the musical instruments he got for Christmas. He will ask to watch "clue clue" and loves Blue.

He is an amazing boy and I am so blessed to be his mommy. He put on a concert for me today. Just like his daddy. He was holding his toy mic and playing the piano at the same time. I am so glad I married a wonderful man and it would be a fabulous thing if Manny turned out just like him. I never want to forget this season. This time when although Manny is starting to push limits and wonder if there are going to be any boundaries, he is exploring and enjoying life as well. We went to Ft. Worth this weekend and he loved being on the plane, riding the bus, and the tram to the airport. He is a great kiddo and I never want to forget these amazing moments.

Looking for Someone Like Me

2011-08-29T13:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Manny & I went to an adoption picnic. It is an annual event hosted by the adoption agency that did our homestudy. We got an invite last year, but I think I was still in that fog of new baby world at that time, and it was a long way away to travel and hang out with people you don't know. This year however, I #1 know my way around here a little better, #2 have a much more active social little fella who needs time playing every day, & #3 was looking for someone that looked like me.

I had heard about the park and splash pad where the picnic was going to be held before, but it was still 45 minutes away. We don't do many extra things on Sundays. Daniel's day is completely committed and that is our priority. This week our church was also having a baptism service later that afternoon at Lake Michigan. So I took off on my own with Manny and we made an afternoon of it.

I'm not sure what I was looking for....maybe other white families raising black children. Maybe other moms who have one child through adoption, but long for more. Maybe someone who I don't have to explain the heartache to in waiting for your child to come home. Maybe someone who just knew what raising an adopted child was like. Maybe a success story of an older adopted child who is well adjusted and thriving. Maybe hair care tips. :) Maybe I was just looking for someone like me.

I did meet some other families & I look forward to getting to know them better. But none looked just like us. I was surprised that Manny was still the only African American at our picnic. I have been thinking about how many other families I know that have adopted and realized I do know lots of people like me. Thanks to Facebook & blogs I do have a network of adoptive moms that look like me. And for that I am very grateful.

Project Simplify

2011-04-07T21:57:00.000-07:00

Hot Spot #5 was to do your own thing. So that was easy. This was the first time I'm joining in because I was busy reading Organized Simplicity By Tsh Oxenreider. So this was the first challenge I've actually done. I have done some of the de-cluttering/cleaning as laid out in the book so that has helped overall.

I tackled my laundry room, pictures for scrapbooking, and took a load to a local re-sale shop which seemed to take some organizational skills all in itself to get everything plus the 1 year old in the car. :)

So here's the proof:

Before (Above Washer/Dryer)

After (Above Washer/Dryer) - all my bathroom cleaners have to stay here because of a certain 1 year old. Under the sink is no longer a safe place, and on this particular cabinet under the sink there's no way to attach a lock like we have in the kitchen...

Adorable helper

Before - other side of laundry room

After - ahhhh so nice. :)

Photo Basket Before-

Photo Basket After-

Daniel asked for a specific photo and because they were nicely organized and already sorted I was able to quickly find it. Such a nice feeling. I just had to share my find. :)

The fine line between helping and being taken advantage of...

2011-03-31T19:06:00.001-07:00

Disclaimer- If you don't know me in real life I'm not sure how this will come out. I hope it doesn't seem offensive.

When I think of my purpose in life this is what comes out- I want to be available to be used by God to help those in need. I love assisting. I do not love the lime light. I do not aspire to be on stage anywhere. :) I love behind the scenes. For example I love putting water bottles on stage for the guys before the Daniel Doss Band goes on to lead worship. Ask me to step onto the stage- no thanks. So yesterday was one of those days I got to help someone out from church and I was grateful for the free time and the opportunity.

Then today I got a phone call from the recipient of yesterday's help. She needs more help. She needs more assistance. I gladly was able to help yesterday, but I also felt the strong need to set up some healthy boundaries today so as not to get wrapped up in an endless cycle.

This is so hard for me, because unlike Jesus, we don't know people's hearts or intentions. She truly has a need. I wasn't able to offer her immediate help again, but was able to tell her when I would be able to help (it wasn't an emergency situation- so I didn't leave her out to dry by any means). I am so torn in this situation. I wanted to let her know that I care, and am able at times to help. But I also wanted to send a message that I will not be taken advantage of. This is such a fine line for me. I have a heart to serve and give, and I want to make a difference. I just struggle with how far is too far. I looked squarely at her situation (as best I could) and offered a compromise. We will see how it plays out.

Manny's Favorite Song

2011-03-15T20:04:00.001-07:00

I'm trying to capture video proof, but have not been able to yet.
Manny has a favorite song. Amanda Boles made it up and it goes like this.

Man---ny, Man---ny, Manny Manny Doss is my name, it's my name.

We sing it occasionally, not an everyday song like Twinkle Twinkle or Jesus Loves Me. Just randomly when I think of it. It's cute and catchy. Amanda sang it with her girls and actually used their first and middle names. Poor Manny will be one of those kids in school that is called by a name that is not his first of middle name. Oh well.

Back to the song. He LOVES THIS SONG. He will smile really big when we sing it. And here lately he's started grunting the inflections to the rhythm. No real words are coming out, but you can tell EXACTLY what song he's singing.

Isn't that the way we are? All of us have a favorite song and it's generally all about us. I hope and pray that the song I sing reflects my love for Jesus and that He is my everything. I know so many times the tune that gets stuck in my head is me me me me me.

Couch to 5K is working for me.

2011-03-14T21:03:00.000-07:00

I'm on week 3 as of today.
And I did it!!! I usually start the Couch to 5K program and then quit before getting this far.

Tonight I went and ran late. It took me back to the days when Amanda and I would take our dogs to Rossview and walk/jog late at night. :)

Now I have to schedule a time when Daniel can watch Manny so I can sneak out of the house. Usually that means first thing in the morning, but today I just couldn't get up. We had an amazing, but LONG day at church yesterday. After church there was a meal and then a membership class. Manny was DONE being there and would not take a nap there so we came on home. He was asleep by the time I got out of the parking lot.

So today after daylight savings time throwing of our schedule. (I always admire those people who put their kids to bed a few minutes early or later each night before the time change, but I'm not smart enough to figure out whether to keep him up later or put him to bed earlier so we just have to wing it.)

Anyway there was NO WAY I was getting up early this morning to jog. But I found out our gym stays open till 11pm so I went around 9:45pm. AND I DID IT!! I jogged the prescribed amount of 1:30 then walked 1:30 then jogged 3 minutes, then walked 3 minutes then repeated that whole thing. I only thought I was gonna die once, but I had like 7 seconds left on the last three minutes so I pulled through and kept jogging. Whew. I am so proud of myself and feeling like a wimp all at the same time. There are people out there running 1/2 marathons and marathons, but I have a goal of running a 5k and that is what I have to focus on. :)

IN 3 DAYS

2011-01-18T15:01:00.000-08:00

In 3 Days Manny will be 11 months old.
Where has they year gone?

I'll have to say the 10 month old age is by far my favorite. He is adventurous and happy. He thinks he's hilarious and tells us jokes...blabbering about who knows what then throwing his head back and laughing.

We are having fun going to play dates and adventuring out...except on self declared snow days because I'm a wimp driving in the snow. :)

So a quick post just to say I CAN NOT believe the little man is 11 months old already. Boy does time fly!

New Year New Post

2011-01-06T11:38:00.000-08:00

The snow is falling in Valpo and it just seems right. The snow had all melted and that seemed too much like Tennessee. Valpo is just supposed to have snow in January. :)

We are doing well and getting settled in since all the traveling over Christmas.

We went to Tennessee (Martin and Clarksville and Dover and Erin) for Christmas and then Dayton, Ohio for New Years.

GracePoint is rocking and I'm starting to help out with Children's Ministry again. It's truly my favorite place to be...hanging out with kids and teaching them about Jesus. So fun. We had a huge Christmas Service and the new year proves to hold so much in store for GP.

Manny got his first haircut and it was pretty much all or nothing. He went from mega fro to shaved head. I miss his curls, and now he looks like such a little boy. When you snuggle with him now it's rather prickly.

We've managed to take most of our Christmas decorations down....I just noticed one last thing that needs to be taken down. This year for my birthday Deborah got me a framed snowman cross stitch thing. I forgot to put it away since it's more like a picture than Christmas decor. oops. :)

I'm very ready to get back into the swing of things and get geared up to celebrate Manny's first Birthday in Feb!!! Can you believe he's almost 1!!!!

A couple of hard months.

2010-12-16T06:57:00.001-08:00

We've had a couple of hard months.
I can't even write it all out yet, so I just avoid blogging.

1. Nov. 1 Daniel had Gastric By-pass surgery.
2. Nov. 16 Daniel's mom passed away.

Then there was the whirlwind of an unexpected trip to TN, and unexpected funeral and an unexpected Thanksgiving without Daniel's mom. Luckily we had Manny to keep us smiling through the tears.

Then we came back to Valpo and it was my birthday, kinda an afterthought. Oh well.

Now I'm battling re-living the tragedy of last Christmas. Crazy how many thought are coming to mind of our trip to GA. It's truly a battle of the mind to not get sad all over again. I think of Baby Jeremiah and wonder where he is now and what his life is like. I have multiple friends who are adopting and it's hard to be concerned that they are not going to walk away with a baby just like we didn't get to last year. I hope so much that it's easy breezy for them, then I wonder why it wasn't easy breezy for us. You always wonder.

So we are pushing through. Manny is doing amazing. Walking everywhere and is such a joy and without last Christmas's sadness we would not have gotten to share this Christmas with Manny. Oh how I can't even imagine not having him in my life.

November is National Adoption Month

2010-11-02T04:39:00.000-07:00

Creation Groans from Christian Alliance for Orphans on Vimeo.

I wish

2010-10-19T15:57:00.000-07:00

I wish I was a better homemaker.
I wish I loved doing laundry.
I wish I made a commitment to exercise.

I wish I kept the commitments I make to myself.
I wish I had time to read books for fun.
I wish I was better at recycling.
I wish I flossed my teeth every night.

I wish I was good at going to bed at a decent hour.
I wish I could get up before Manny. (Seems when I get up earlier- so does he. What's up w/ that?)
I wish I could email Manny's birthmom pics/letters.

I wish I woke up everyday with the motivation I have today.
I wish the dishes jumped into the dishwasher themselves and then jumped out into the cabinets when they were clean.

I wish I craved healthy foods.
I wish I could find jeans that were the right length.
I wish that I was more consistent with blogging.

I wish I could make a bigger difference for a pregnant mom at church who has some major financial needs right now.
I wish I had a personal assistant, a personal trainer, and a personal chef. (I mean come on while we are wishing...lol.)
I wish that my car was cleaned out.
I wish that ice cream had no calories.

:)
What would you wish for?

I won

2010-10-16T08:09:00.000-07:00

Yippee. I won a book and a t-shirt from another adoptive mom that I randomly just found her blog through a friend on FB.

Check out this post to see the cute shirt that says: 163 Million Orphans minus ONE.

And here is a link to her blog: http://starkeyfamilythree.blogspot.com/

I also won a copy of "Adopted for Life" by Russell More. Lots of people have asked me if I have read that book before so I'm interested to read it.

Thanks April and congrats on your little fella.

Lemon-Aid

2010-09-30T13:00:00.000-07:00

Gracepoint presented Lemon-aid to our Valparaiso Community.

We had Lemon-aid stands all over Valpo and all the proceeds went to Blood:Water Mission. It was a fabulous event that was able to help us get outside of our 4 rented walls. ha. And be a part of something bigger than us. It wasn't about Gracepoint that day, it was about raising $ to help give clean drinking water to people living in Africa.

For $1 someone in Africa can have clean drinking water for a year. A YEAR. ONE DOLLAR. WOW.

That night we had a big celebration downtown and a rep from Blood:Water came out to tell us more about what they do. We ended up raising over $4,000 dollars! So exciting.

It's my first time to add a video that's not in youtube so we'll see how this goes....but here's the recap video.

And the lead singer of the band. Yeah that's my guy. Wow. He did awesome. So very proud to walk alongside him and to be a part of the ministry of Gracepoint!

Surprise Surprise Surprise

2010-09-29T14:33:00.000-07:00

At the end of August two of my very best friends have birthdays within a week of each other. And this year they were both turning 30. So we had to come up with some extra special surprises.

I live in Indiana, Amanda lives in Ohio, and Melanie lives in Tennessee. So I took off to Ohio to get Amanda and travel with her to Tennessee. (And Manny came too.) We got to Melanie's parents' house where she was having dinner and Surprise #1 came off w/out a hitch. We had each lied to Melanie to be able to pull this off and luckily the circle of lies worked. There was lots of screaming and excitement that we had really pulled it off!

Surprise #2 was from Melanie's hubby for Saturday where he treated all three of us with a spa day! Whew hew! Thanks Tony! :)

Surprise #3 was for Melanie from Tony in the form of a surprise party with family and friends at Maggiano's yumm! It was pretty funny that morning at church Tony's plan was for me to convince Mel to meet us at Maggiano's for dinner...with her thinking it was just me, Amanda and Tony joining her. Tony was worried that we wouldn't be able to convince her to go to Maggiano's where he had already made the reservations. I told Tony that would be the easy part. I walked up to her and said so where do you wanna go tonight? I vote for Maggiano's, but it's your birthday. There was never any convincing her, she was in! :) It was soooo good. We got to see Haley, a friend from college, and some of Mel's friends from Smyrna whom I found out are also friends w/ the Wolski's (our Daniel Doss Band bass player.) Fun times! I was impressed that Mel got to sit at the "friend" table and not the "family" table. Guess she's finally an adult since it was her big 30. ha!

Surprise #4 caused some circles of lies to get pretty wide and confusing, but it all worked out. Surprise #4 was for Amanda!!! She is in love w/ delicious cake. We had cake at a shower once and Amanda could not stop talking about it. So I got my best friend Holly to order her some delicious cakes. We stopped by Holly's house (just to see it) after Mel's party. But really we were going to pick up the delicious cakes!!!!

SURPRISES COMPLETE. WHEW!

Thanks so much to Holly for the helping hand in the circle of lies- and for my best buddies who were so much fun pulling off surprises for! Glad we got to spend ya'll 30th together! It was soo much fun!

**Amanda, her two kidos, Manny and I traveled back to Ohio together on Monday. That was a fun fun trip w/ three kids 2 and under. But we took our time and made it just fine.

6 Months

2010-08-22T13:00:00.000-07:00

I really can't believe that Manny is 6 months old.

I have several friends who helped their children move into their college dorms this weekend. They keep reminding me that the years will fly by.

Manny is sitting up really well on his own. Saying Mamamamama. Eating like a champ. Generally sleeping through the night. And is more awesome than we ever thought possible.

Here are some of his 6 month pics! :) He's finally out grown the bear!

Seriously Mom--you just woke me up and you expect me to smile...no way.

Ok maybe a 1/2 smile.

Ok- Mom- You are acting really silly. I guess I'll smile.

Woah- What's this paper? It's kind crinkly...

:) Do you think anyone will notice I'm wearing a 12m size outfit? I'm such a big boy! :)

Adventure in Chicago

2010-08-21T11:06:00.001-07:00

Last night we drove to Chicago so that Daniel could sing with the group Light of Love in the studio for their new CD. It was such a cool experience. Daniel was impressed with the studio and all their vintage gear. It was called Tone Zone and was in downtown Chicago.

Of course traffic was terrible but we made it. We got to see a cool trendy part of Chicago that we'd never seen before. (Kinda reminded me of a Green Hills area of Nashville times 10.) Also we drove by an area with tons of basketball goals and people out playing. I totally felt like I was in a movie. It was just exactly what I expected to see in Chicago. Wow!

Daniel sang and sang and they of course were blown away. It was a lot of fun. The girls in the group Light of Love are all sisters which adds a fun flavor to the group. They can joke around and seem to have a blast. You can tell they've been doing this for awhile. They each seemed like they respect each others opinion and work so well together.

After finishing up the song Daniel was singing on we went to eat at Uncle Julio's (mexican food)....yum!

We fought traffic again and headed out to St. Sabina for a gospel concert. Daniel sang a little medley of worship tunes with the Light of Love girls as his background singers. He also sang Hold On. There were many other groups/singers as well. It was such a fun worship time. So very free and soulful. Donnie McClurkin was the main guy and he went on right after us.

It was all a part of the Perfecting Music Conference.

Manny was a champ with all the traveling and excitement of the night. He was in such a good mood. And of course everyone though he was just such a handsome little guy and they were impressed with how good he was. :)

Overwhelmed

2010-08-15T18:33:00.000-07:00

Today I cried (happy tears) through the entire worship time.

I pulled up to the parking lot today at church after not wanting to get out of bed. I had gotten Manny completely ready (by myself cause Daniel has to get there at 6am for set-up) when he spit up all over his cute little frog outfit. :(

So we moved on to outfit #2 which was his cute little guitar outfit...adorable! :)

Anyway...back to the parking lot. I pulled up (by this time running late a little....we have coffee/snacks at 10am and service at 10:30....I usually try and get there by 10, but today it was 10:25ish.) Gosh I'm rambling...so back to the parking lot again....I pull up and think to myself man it looks like there aren't many people here today. I tell myself that it's ok. We can't have a "big" Sunday (in attendance) every week. And that schools haven't started up here so people are probably taking advantage of the last few weekends of summer.

I walk in and it's pretty packed...hmmm. And I see tons of new faces. Like tons of people who have never been there before. I was overwhelmed to tears. We moved up here a little over a year ago to help plant a church. Knowing it was what God had called us to. Not knowing if anyone would come or not. I was just overwhelmed today thinking it's really happening all over again. I remember at Grace Community when we met at St. Mary's School we would have Sunday's like this. Sunday's where that person we had been praying for for soooo long finally came. That was today at GracePoint. A few times I heard someone say that their friend finally came today.

Wow. I was overwhelmed. Reminded that we are right where God called us to be and investing in the people He planned for us to reach out to. It was such an amazing feeling. Seeing people who were merely visitors a few months ago now being plugged into volunteer areas. Seeing people who had never come to church a few years ago now excited to attend weekly. God is blowing me away. I am so grateful to have been able to be a part of this. It is truly amazing watching HIM work! Wow!

Brunch Date

2010-08-14T12:20:00.000-07:00

Today I had been looking forward to a Brunch Date with some other gals from church for a few days. I was looking forward to some girl time and adult time.

I got a message about brunch and put it on my mental calendar. I made sure Daniel was available to watch Manny. And anticipation grew. And grew. And grew.

I awoke at around 7:30 to Manny making noise. He wasn't really fussing, but just letting me know he was awake. (I could hear him jibber jabbering on the monitor.)

I kept looking forward to my brunch date and looked for the message again. I couldn't find the details, but was pretty sure it was scheduled for 11am. Perfect time for brunch right?!?

At 10:30 I texted with the ring leader and asked her just to make sure we were still getting together. She replied-yes, but at 10am!

I still had to get ready and everything. She said to come on anyway that they'd still be there.

I arrived right at 11am. Right on time in my world. ha! The funny thing is that another girl arrived right after me. She too had it in her head that it was a gathering at 11am.

It was good to laugh, to share brunch, to just be. Fun times. Glad they were still there at 11! :)

I like to eat eat eat apples and bananas!

2010-08-13T09:12:00.000-07:00

Manny sure does like to eat!

So far he has eaten green beans, green peas, squash, carrots, rice cereal, oatmeal cereal, bananas, applesauce, peaches, prunes, pears, avocados, and sweet potatoes.

He will gobble down anything I give him and we usually end up with a big mess. My favorite thing is to watch him take the first bite. He usually makes a terrible face no matter what you put in his mouth. I guess it's like he's trying to decide what the main course is for the day.

I'm pretty sure this main course was a squished up avocado.

Lately almost anything can make it's way to Manny's mouth. Especially teething toys. When I look closely in his mouth I can see a couple of bottom teeth making their way up to the gums. He has seemed like his gums have been bothering him a little lately, but nothing too severe.

And every now and then he likes to munch on frog legs. Sorry I couldn't resist. :)

Grandparents Came to Visit

2010-08-13T08:54:00.000-07:00

We had a great week with the Doss's here. We relaxed a lot, ate a lot and enjoyed our time together a lot. :)

They were refreshed by our cooler temperatures up here, but we thought it was hot.

Manny was definitely the center of attention and loved every minute of it. So glad they got to come and visit!

Big Weekend Plans

2010-08-05T08:20:00.001-07:00

We got a phone call yesterday that the Doss's are coming for a visit tomorrow!!! We are so excited.

We had actually planned to have a babysitter on Saturday so that we could go to a wedding of two of our community group members. And we had also worked it out so that we could both get haircuts on Saturday. (Side note- I never would have imagined how hard it is to get a haircut once you have kids. Maybe cause Daniel's schedule is so random, but it is hard to squeeze in something which used to be so simple. A haircut.)

So back to the haircut. I'm going to do something majorly different. I hate my current hairstyle. I've been "letting it grow out" for some odd reason. I don't like how it looks, but I don't have to get it cut as often. It all started last winter when I was cold and though having longer hair would help....now my hair is longer than it's been in forever and it's getting on my nerves.

I rarely fix it because it takes so long. I'm hoping for a cute spunky style that is quick and easy. I hope Saturday's haircut does not disappoint. I was even thinking about getting hi-lights, but am re-thinking that at the moment. I was going to post a before pic, but that means I have to fix my hair and I just don't have time right now. ;)

Gotta get things ready for our guests. Whew hew!

Ahhh.

2010-08-03T08:05:00.001-07:00

A few very wonderful things happened yesterday that made me go ahhh (in a good way) and take a big deep breath.

1. I got to talk to my mom.

2. I texted back and forth with my dad.

3. Manny and I had so much fun playing and hanging out.

3.5 I found out Manny's hospital stay (at birth) was taken care of by Medicaid. It was still in the process of being taken care of up until yesterday...so that was a relief that we don't have to pay for his medical bills.

4. Clothes got washed.

5. The downstairs got cleaned (for the most part).

5.5 Suzy got brushed. She is shedding terribly right now and that is getting on my nerves.

6. I got to go to Wal-Mart BY MYSELF.

7. I got to talk to my BFF and catch up a little...still not long enough, but it was good for the soul.

7.5 And I finished a book on Sunday so that means that I picked up another book to dive into.

Porter County Fair

2010-08-02T14:15:00.000-07:00

This past week was the Porter County Fair.

Daniel, Manny and I got to go twice.

The first time was with our small group. It was such a fun time, I had never been to the fair up here before. (And only to ones in Tennessee a few times....I don't remember this being a big deal in Clarksville, but it sure is up here.) We met up at the front gate and perused all the fair food booths. Daniel choose a doughnut burger (which was the total novelty item). I got a corn dog (which was the total traditional fair item). We listened to live COUNTRY music, went through the different buildings which had pigs, sheep, and goats. We skipped the chicken building due to the stinky smell. We got to watch the Lumber Jills (girl Lumberjack's) perform.

It was good to get to have our group go on a little outing. And I realized that I LOVE THE FAIR! :)

We went again with some more friends and got to see some animals that we missed the first night as well as going on the wagon ride- it told about the history of the fair and drove around the exterior. Manny loved looking at all the bright lights. We had fun with friends and yet again got to have more fair food. I got pulled pork and for the first time in Valparaiso had BBQ that was dry like we have it in Tennessee. *They usually mix their BBQ w/ sauce around here. We got to see some greyhounds that were up for adoption. Kinda made me laugh when someone in our group asked what adoption agency they were with. Whew. Glad we aren't still having discussions about adoption agencies on a daily basis.

The weather was so nice both times when we went. Such a blessing to have enjoyable summers instead of the sweltering heat.

5 Months Pics

2010-08-01T14:10:00.000-07:00

Summer Spectacular

2010-07-31T14:00:00.000-07:00

Soooo what have we been up to this summer.

Well for starters we went on an amazing trail near Lake Michigan. There are lots of trails, but this was our first experience at the Indiana Dunes. I hope we get to frequent them more often, there are tons of different trails to choose from. It was such a peaceful time walking through the wilderness. My heart was so full. It was one of my favorite days EVER. I carried Manny successfully in the Ergo carrier. We came back to the house and grilled out some steaks and watched an amazing movie. It was the perfect summer day.

That was our family day right before we went separate ways. Daniel led worship with the Daniel Doss Band in New Mexico one week then in Oklahoma. During these back to back weeks Manny and I spent one week in Clarksville and one week in Martin.

Manny did really well for all that traveling. He got a little fussy, but overall did awesome.

The week in Clarksville we stayed busy busy busy. Trying to visit with as many people as possible. It was great to be able to go to Grace Community Church and see so many wonderful people. (I miss you guys.) I was able to hit up Blondies, Chick-fil-a, Hananoki, a new Mexican place, Excell BBQ, Sango Deli, and Cindy's Catfish house in Dover. :) Made me feel like a true southerner again with all that good food.

Then I headed to Martin for a week of down time. We hung out at the Doss's most of the week and Manny got pampered all the more. He got to play the piano, hear the wind chimes, swing on the front porch, experience Tennessee's hot summer weather, and snuggle on his grandmother's lap with his doggie cousin Sadie. He got to visit both great aunts and uncles and some 2nd cousins as well.

Deborah and I made a Sonic run one day and it brought back tons of memories. That is a spot where Daniel and I would go when we were dating. :) We drove around UTM's campus and it was exciting to see how nice it's looking. They have new dorms and a new fitness center. WOW. If only I could go back now. ha!

I also got to visit with Danny Donaldson who played the piano in our wedding. I got to meet his wife and 2 step kids. Manny sure did like being entertained by them. It was nice because they live a short walk from Daniel's parents so we just strolled right over.

Overall it was a good two weeks. Deborah and I stayed up and had late night talks so by the time the week was over I was thoroughly exhausted. I made it back to Clarksville Friday night and the guys arrived Saturday morning after driving all night. Daniel and I drove back to Valpo on Saturday to end our two weeks of being apart. It was good to be home.

Letter and Pictures

2010-07-30T09:52:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I sent S some pictures of Manny. Honestly she has gotten the only printed pics that we have of him. I really really need to print some pics for us and for family. :)

S is Manny's birthmom. So far I had not mentioned to her what we decided to name him or any details like that. I wanted to be as far removed from her as possible. But recently I've had a change of heart. Now that everything is official and I know there is no way to reverse the adoption finalization my thinking has changed.

She shared her son with us, why should I be stingy with pictures and letters. And in the future I'm sure he'll ask about her. What if I had to tell him that she was interested in knowing how he was doing, but I didn't want her to be a part of our future.

A little of it also stemmed from reading the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan. If you haven't read it I highly recommend it. The gist of it was that sometimes God calls us to love in unimaginable ways. Ways that don't make sense. Crazy Love.

To some people it doesn't make sense for us to build a relationship w/ S. But if I think about all that she has given us and then wonder if she knows Christ, I think there is no excuse for me to not love her. Many many days I sit and hold Manny and am just so grateful that our lives crossed paths and that she was willing to give us such a precious gift.

I want to love her. Does that mean I am scared. yes. (Not sure what of, but I'm nervous about really getting to know her.) I'm nervous she won't like me or that she will think I'm not raising Manny in the best possible way. That she won't like his name or how I'm doing his hair. But really when I lay all those things aside I know it is the best choice to share love with her and to reach out to her.

So yesterday I sent her a letter. I told her his name is Oliver Emmanuel and that we call him Manny. I told her about what he likes to do and what he's been eating. I told her about his sweet spirit and that I can only imagine that he inherited that from her.

I sent her some pics, but I'm not expecting a reply. I would be overjoyed if I got anything at all. One regret that I have is not taking a picture of her in the hospital. I don't have one picture of her or her "cousin" (they told us he was her cousin, but we have reason to believe he was the birthfather and not her cousin) that was with her. I asked for a picture in the last letter, but got no reply.

Now I'm wondering if someday we would meet face to face. My mind goes wild thinking about what that would be like. What in the world we would say to each other. All I can think of right now is hugging her. And crying. And thanking her profusely. I wonder if that would ever happen. This is the beginning of that possibility.

Manny Manny Manny

2010-06-17T13:46:00.000-07:00

Manny is doing so well. WE are having so much fun!!

I have a couple of big items on my to do list then I promise I'll get back to blogging.

Here are some teaser pics of Manny napping.

This is noteworthy because I've figured out that Manny thinks there are only 23 hours in the day. Monday he woke up at 9am, Tuesday 8am, and today at 7am. Daniel said, "Buddy you have an amazing surprise coming. Someday you will realize there is a whole extra hour in your day." Funny cause don't we sometimes think about all the things we could accomplish if we had an extra hour. Today I guess Manny thought it would be a good idea to nap during his "extra hour."

Question of the Day:

What would you do if you found out there was an extra hour in your day?

The new me

2010-06-15T07:44:00.001-07:00

I hate posting things like this due to the fact that I want the changes to truly last.

Confession: I am a messy person. Just ask my college roommate, my hubby of 10 years, or special friends who have actually been invited over before the clean up occurs. (Or those who have been allowed to see the "junk room" once they did come over.

On our way back home from Tennessee I mentioned to Daniel that I would like to be known as a person who...and listed off a ton of things I'd like to be know for, but don't do regularly right now. We do not live routine lives by any means so setting up routines (even though I love routine) didn't always fit into our way of living...like it did when I was teaching and had a set schedule.

Don't you just love it when lots of things come together at the same time and reiterate a point.

I had browsed the organization/decluttering books many times at the local book store, but had never actually made a purchase. A couple of weeks ago I actually bought a book called "Simplify Your Life: Get Organized and Stay that Way". It was exactly the motivation that I needed. One of the things that stuck out to me was- imagine if two things that bother you the most were just the way you wanted them. My two were paperwork and laundry. I would dread cleaning the bedroom because there were piles of laundry...either clean or dirty to contend with. This past week after everything was in order it only took 10 minutes to clean the bedroom. Amazing! Progress!

So now I have a system- a routine- and I'm loving it so far. This is week two. (Before week one I took time to get things just right so that week doesn't count.) The first part wasn't that bad either- I spent time knocking out small tasks (clean out a drawer) and also 15 minutes a day on big tasks (the "junk room"). Daniel has noticed a difference and that lit a fire for me to continue.

Another thing that came into play was that we went to stay with friends a week or so ago and she is definitely the opposite of a messy. We hung out for awhile and even though it was late when we were heading off to bed she stayed up an extra 10 minute tidying up. I thought- why am I not doing that? Why am I staying up so late that I just put things off till the next day? So I started doing just that. I started tidying up before I go to bed each night. I know to you super clean people you are thinking umm you just started this? It's natural to you, but not so much to me. I would tell myself that I'd be here tomorrow and so would the mess. I'd just get to it later...and later...and later...and the mess would be 10x's as big as it started.

So far so good. We will see how long this lasts, I'm hoping for a good long while. Yesterday I cleaned the downstairs and so today when we have Community Group over I won't have to be slaving away all day making sure things are just so. Now that is a good good feeling. :)

So cheers to a new not so messy me.

Computer Vaca

2010-05-30T06:36:00.001-07:00

I'm planning to take a little vaca....from my computer.
We will see how long I can actually last, but I'm finding myself glued to it and that's not always a good thing.

So with that comes a blog vaca.

See you soon.

Wishing it was a beach vaca, but that will have to wait. :)

Photo Shoot Today

2010-05-26T13:42:00.000-07:00

We have some amazing photographers from our church. Bill Konway took these pics. He used to work for a major newspaper in Chicago and has some amazing stories to tell about some of the pics he's taken over the years. You can check out his current stuff at http://www.billkonway.com/blog/

We are blessed to have gotten to know him and his wife Stacy and his son Zak. They are amazing and have been a huge part of our GracePoint team.

And he got some great pics of Manny today! :)

Blogging Rut

2010-05-25T10:59:00.000-07:00

So I'm stuck in a rut.
A blogging rut.

I desperately need to do a May recap, but for some reason I just don't have it in me.

We've done lots of fun things in May...but to get the pics on the computer and tell you all about it seems like such a chore. Who knows where the adapter to the camera is?!? And who knows if the camera has any battery power left...

So hopefully I can get it together and get a May recap on here before the end of May. :)

Luckily my back is feeling better today. Seems like it's taken too long for it to get better.

This afternoon a friend is coming over and helping sort yard sale stuff. I am hoping to have a yard sale, but it's kinda been on the back burner for so long that it's ok if it never gets done. So maybe we can knock that out and move on to some bigger and better things. :)

youch!

2010-05-18T21:25:00.000-07:00

I hurt my back today. I really wanted to cancel small group and just put a heating pad on my back, but we didn't. We had everyone over and I just sat still- I feel like I need a cane if I'm going to be walking. It seems that the more I sit still the stiffer it gets.

Not sure if I hurt it from picking Manny up the wrong way or what, but man o man it hurts.

I may be out of it tomorrow and that Manny cooperates.
I also hope that Daniel is available to carry Manny up and down the stairs.

I've never been to a chiropractor, but am highly considering it and even got a recommendation tonight.

Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-09T19:24:00.000-07:00

After many many years of waiting to be a mother today is the day I get to celebrate. It's been a great day and I'm so thankful to a beautiful birth mother that has allowed me a reason to celebrate.

Praying for Tennessee

2010-05-02T06:28:00.000-07:00

I feel the same way I did in January of 1999.
That was when the deadly tornado hit my hometown of Clarksville, TN. I was watching on the news while I was away at college with disbelief. The things that looked familiar were suddenly gone or devastated.

Last night we were watching the news from Tennessee (thanks internet). There are major floods and the images were unbelievable. Portable building floating down the "river" which used to be the interstate. Interstate traffic where now you can only see the tops of cars.

There was a video of a rescue of an 18 wheeler's driver. At one point Daniel mentioned that the only time he's seen anything like it was in the movies due to special effects.

So far all of our family is safe, but many roads have been washed away and there is more rain predicted for today.

Hoping people play it safe today and that the waters don't leave too much damage.

The Purple Iris

2010-04-28T04:23:00.000-07:00

I've never been a huge fan of the purple Iris although it is the state flower of Tennessee. I have favored Tulips at my absolute favorite.

My mother-in-law has some beautiful Irises. Last night I was talking to my sister-in-law about how I should really get some and plant them on the side of our house. We have great flower beds already laid out, but they need some major tending to.

I told her it would be a reminder of Tennessee when they bloom.

Tennessee is the state that I love. I lived there all but 6 months of my first 30 years. It is home to me. And at times I miss it dearly.

It was easy to move to Indiana, because we specifically knew that God was calling us here. And it's pretty hard to say no to Him. :) But I do miss Tennessee.

How cheesy is this- at one point just hearing Rocky Top made me almost cry-
You know the part- Rocky Top you'll always be home sweet home to me. It's funny now, but seriously I almost cried over that song.

*Manny just sneezed- he is a double sneezer. I think it's adorable- neither Daniel or I sneeze twice, but he does....every time.*

Sometimes it's hard to live 8 hours away from family. For instance when we went to court for finalization I had pictured the court room full of family and friends, instead it was more like this:

Our lawyer, us, our caseworker that did the homestudy (w/ her eyes closed), and the judge.

It was very very special. We even got a pic w/ just us and the judge.

*Manny looks so small in this pic, but when I'm holding him I feel like he is such a big boy. So crazy!*

The sweet lady running errands for the judge- she probably has an official title, but I'm not sure what that is- came up to me afterward and told me that she loved watching mothers look at their babies...that I was just glowing. (MADE MY DAY!)

We didn't lose it in the courtroom, however we pretty much lost it on the way home. There were tears of joy shed as this day was finally here and all paperwork was finally official. I don't think I acknowledged the huge weight that was bearing down on us, but once it was final it was as if that boulder vanished and I realized the severity of it. The freedom, joy, and security that I felt were unexpected, but welcomed nonetheless.

It would have been nice to come home to purple Irises that day.

Crazy Emotions

2010-04-27T07:33:00.000-07:00

Lately I've had a whole gamut of emotions. It has scaled from sadness to loneliness, to fear, to joy, to bland nothingness. This has been the strangest time. I can't even begin to explain it.

After talking to my best friend yesterday and her telling me I'm normal, I feel so much better. Such a blessing to just be able to talk and get it all out. :)

The last MAJOR change in our home was 10 years ago when Daniel and I got married. We've moved and had transitions, but we as a family unit, haven't had to change in 10 years. (Then this past year we have had as it seems 101 transitions all in one year.) Honestly we've gotten into a pretty good routine. A routine of randomness none the less, but we don't fight much and know how to work through conflict. It's actually pretty wonderful, and I had forgotten the work we had to put in at the beginning to get to this point. Add child and now we are experiencing a major transition. Enter child after a huge roller coaster of emotion and a little more than one month after our darkest hours my emotions are having a hard time settling in.

So crazy to think about this being the end result....that we've waited so long for (6 years since we started trying to have a baby.) And now I'm not just over ecstatic with constant joy...so I'm getting worried...I honestly think I should just give myself a break. After my emotions have been swinging so swiftly from highs to lows it might take a little while for this to all settle out. To figure out the new normal.

I wanted to write this down, #1- to get it out, #2- to share with others that maybe just maybe when you finally get what you've waited so so long for you might not have the emotions you thought you would. (I don't want that to sound bad, just honest. I LOVE Manny and being a mom, but there is definitely a transition period of figuring out how to make this new life work....and it's not bliss ALL THE TIME.) *I keep thinking it's just like marriage- it's been awhile for me, but I remember having certain expectations that were unmet. Some things were way better than I expected and some things were way harder than I expected. Same with parenting. Same exact thing.

The End

2010-04-26T16:34:00.000-07:00

Well it's official.

We went to court today and finalized our adoption.

I have no words adequate enough to describe my feelings. My emotions have been all over the place lately. But now it's all over.

He is ours. THANK YOU LORD.

This is the only thing appropriate to describe how I feel right now:

Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I'm Yours!
:)

Now for the real beginning. (Actually that happened the day we brought him home, but today is super special in the no one can take him away! This is SUCH a relief after all we have been through.) Thanks for the prayers. This is such a day we've waited for...not sure how to plan for tomorrow. :)

Daniel's CD

2010-04-16T19:47:00.000-07:00

Soooo Daniel has a new CD out.

If you go to iTunes and search Daniel Doss it should come up.

Also you can get it at Amazon.

It's very fun and cool and vibey...if that's a word.
It's different from what he's done in the past so take a listen and spread the word. These songs are super special to me as in they represent our story and our journey and I've watched/listened to them from their birth. I'm so blessed to be married to a man who is real and honest and shares his heart through songs. You will be blessed by these songs and the truth that he portrays through catchy lyrics and melodies. Gosh- I love that guy. (And he's super talented...if I do say so myself.)

GET IT TODAY!!!

Amazing Week (Part 3)

2010-04-16T13:03:00.001-07:00

Sunday Morning started BRIGHT AND EARLY- Grace Community now has 3 services. Daniel had to be there by 6:30am, Manny and I made it there by 8:10am. :)

Manny pretty much slept through the first service, did great in the second, and had to be carried off stage by the third. We were interviewed on stage about our adoption journey then Daniel sang Stained Glass Windows which can now be purchased on iTunes or Amazon!!! Ron then spoke about adoption and God's love for us. You can listen by clicking here. It was a beautiful Sunday morning and it was so great to be able to visit with friends there and introduce them to Manny!

We got to go out to the lobby between services which was such a treat. Seems as though I held little Manny in my left arm ALL DAY LONG. (By the end of the day my left arm was killing me...why didn't I switch arms???)

After church my parents ran and got some more BBQ! (Gotta get it while we can!!!)

After eating lunch Manny and I were immediately off to a shower! It was so much fun, but I could feel myself getting tired. This was a sweet sweet time for our friends to get to hold Manny and share w/ him how much he has been prayed for. Lori Graham hosted the shower and let me just say there was an amazing spread of food and a beautiful cake...that was OH SO GOOD! We were blessed indeed by all the goodies we received. Oh so thankful for all those that came!

One memory sticks out from the day- when Karen Grizzard held him and just cried. I know that she has cried w/ me many times as I long awaited becoming a mom. It was so tender to see her hold him and cry/pray over him. So precious.

Sunday night we got to go to my BFF Melanie's new house. She amazes me- they moved in on Saturday and she already had so much in place. WOW. Manny got fussy and I was exhausted, but it was still good to be able to visit with them for a little bit. It was truly a fun packed day and it felt so good to be in Clarksville w/ Manny! So glad to get to introduce him to our church family there.

Amazing Week (Part 2)

2010-04-15T10:42:00.000-07:00

So I left off at Friday night.
So I'll begin w/ Saturday morning.

We got to relax Saturday morning. My mom came over and dropped off a big bag of hand me downs from her Vice Principal at school. (There were some super cute outfits in there and some he can wear right now.)

!!!THEN AUNT DEBORAH CAME!!!

This was her first time to get to visit Manny. She immediately took him and snuggled him and kissed him and loved on him. It was PRECIOUS to witness.

I love the fact that she came early to get some alone time w/ Manny. How sweet...it was a great visit and I can't wait to go to Martin to spend some extended time there.

Daniel's parents showed up that afternoon and my dad stopped by. One of the hi-lights was Daniel's dad and Manny snoozing together in the chair.

We were then off to the concert for Africa for Jesus. It was a blast. MANNY'S FIRST CONCERT!!!

I got pics w/ all the DDB guys holding Manny. (And I got to meet Kenny's girl Hilary for the first time. I love that Kenny did such a great job talking about her that she was exactly as I imagined.) It is such a blessing to have those guys in our lives. I hope that Manny always grows up around them and influenced by them.

(Bryan and Cassi- holding Manny)

At the concert I barely held Manny. He was definitely the star of the night. I couldn't even walk in the door with out taking him out of his car seat. It was so so so good to get to visit with people from Clarksville and share Manny man w/ them! He was amazing and loved ever minute of it. We went on stage and everything. It was a dream come true. I had always known that God would someday answer our prayers and that we would get to walk on stage with our child after Daniel told the Hold On story...well this was the day it happened. I am blessed indeed!

(Sunday will have to come in the next post...whew!)

Amazing Week

2010-04-14T17:17:00.001-07:00

We have been in Clarksville for an entire week. I was so blessed to be able to introduce Manny to so many people.

We got there Wednesday night and were greeted by the Hughes w/ BBQ!!! (Yes I had requested BBQ- since it's just not the same up here.)

Thursday we got to go to lunch w/ a dear friend Brenda who has prayed and prayed for this little fella. We at at my favorite Mexican Restaurant. They actually got my order wrong...I usually just don't say anything, but this time I did since I know I won't be able to go back there anytime soon. She drove me around town and we got to see the land that Grace Community has purchased.

Friday I went to lunch w/ some ladies that were in our last community group. We went to a new little cafe. I nearly cried it was soooo SOUTHERN. Everything was dainty and flowery and just plain wonderful. The curtains were huge and I was just fit to be tied. When we first got there and when we were eating there were people there that I knew and they came over to see Manny. I'm pretty sure I was beaming the entire time.

Right after lunch my parents took me to Erin, TN. That's where my grandmother (MawMaw) lives. She hasn't been doing well and is in the hospital, but she got to come to the lobby and meet Manny.

Manny wore his over-alls since my dad ALWAYS wears over-alls. They were so cute together.

(More from the weekend and pics later, Manny is telling me that he is getting hungry.)

Virtual Easter Basket

2010-04-02T11:59:00.000-07:00

Life with My Special K's has tagged me for a virtual Easter basket. I thought this one would be fun since it's for a great cause.

It's the Hershey's Better Basket Blog Hop! If you have a blog, you can help raise money for a GREAT cause!!! Hershey is donating up to $5,000 to the Children's Miracle Network with this promotion – $10 for every blog that participates in the Better Basket Blog Hop. The post that you are reading right now is another $10 that will be given to children’s hospitals all over North America. An additional $5,000 to this charity would be the world of difference to many sick children.

SO this post right here is another $10! YAY! And now, I get to pass my virtual basket along to some of you... who hopefully will pass it along to others... who hopefully will pass it along to more people! Let's get Hershey to their $5,000 goal!

In my basket, I would include a chocolate Butterfinger eggs, because they are way better than regular Butterfingers! The chocolate to butterfinger ratio is way better in the eggs. LOL I would also include jelly beans (either Starburst or Jelly Belly), because they are so fun to try and guess the flavor or match to the back or the bag. And ummm, let's see...I saw some really cute cupcakes that I'd include....since I don't even have to make them...this is a VIRTUAL BASKET. ;)

And I'd include one of these:

Since once again- it's virtual and I don't have to know how to sew. :)
*pics from Skip to My Lou- which always has fun crafty things for each holiday.

I now pass my basket onto:
1. Deborah Doss @ http://deborahdoss.blogspot.com
2. Amy Maze @ http://myamazeingjourney.blogspot.com
3. Christy Davis @ http://danielandchristy.blogspot.com
4. Sunny Hall @ http://hallsblog.blogspot.com

Here are the rules below:

Hershey’s Better Basket Blog Hop Rules
Copy and paste these rules to your blog post.
Create a blog post giving a virtual Easter Basket to another blogger – you can give as many Virtual Baskets as you want.
Link back to person who gave you an Easter Basket.
Let each person you are giving a Virtual Easter Basket know you have given them a Basket.
Leave your link at BetterBasket.info/BlogHop comment section. You can also find the official rules of this #betterbasket blog hop, and more information about Better Basket with Hershey’s there.
Hershey’s is donating $10 per each blog participating to the Better Basket Blog Hop to Children’s Miracle Network (up to total of $5,000 by blog posts written by April 4th, 2010).
Please note that only one blog post by each blog URL will count towards the donation.

No April Fool's Here

2010-04-01T15:25:00.000-07:00

WE just got our paperwork from the lawyer that has our official date of finalization for our adoption. Hallelujah.

So relieved that we have a date and time.

Hoping to make that a very special day for Manny.

:)

Fabulous Day

2010-03-30T08:56:00.001-07:00

Yesterday Manny and I went on two big adventures.

#1 Was to Wal-Mart.
#2 Was to Macy's which is 20 minutes away. (Heather I thought of you in TX and how far you have to drive to get to a mall.)

Manny is pretty much on a 3 hour schedule right now so I knew we had only a small amount of time.

We made it to Wal-Mart just fine and he slept most of the trip away. Someone actually talked to me since I had a baby. :) This was a hi-light honestly since we've moved to this new town I haven't met very many people outside of church. I'm counting this as a blessing.

I also saw someone from church- which to me is a sign that this is feeling more like home. (Although at our Wal-Mart people are always in a hurry. Rebecca- If I had seen you in the Clarksville Wal-Mart we could have chatted for at least 5 minutes. Maybe they make the isles bigger in TN for that very purpose. I never felt like I was inconveniencing anyone by standing around talking there...hmmm.)

Oh and there was one of those jumbo carts where the big kids can sit in and there were 5 children w/ the mom---I totally though of Renee. You know how you cross paths w/ the same person over and over in Wal-Mart...well we kept crossing. The little girl said, "Hi Baby." Every time we crossed paths. Too cute! (Later I saw a mom w/ ONE child pushing one of those jumbo carts and thought that's why Renee can't ever find one...)

We came back home had dinner and I was still feeling adventurous. So right after Manny fell asleep again we headed out to Macy's. I got Manny some little rock star t-shirts. They are in the wash and I promise to post pics as soon as he can wear them. His dad was too proud that Manny now has a t-shirt w/ headphones on it. Which is what Daniel has been wearing quite a bit lately. Yesterday he finished up his new CD. It takes lots of time and effort to record and I love the fact that late last night when it was all said and done he was truly proud of it.

I cried yesterday listening to the final draft. There is a song called Stained Glass Windows and the imagery he puts to music moves me. He talks about how Stained Glass Windows are beautiful, but come from broken pieces being put together. Our Heavenly Father is so good at that. Putting together the pieces of our broken lives. Ahhhh. I can't wait for everyone to hear it. I will post when it's officially available. :)

Right now Manny is snoozing in my lap and I'm typing away around him. We have community group tonight which will be our big adventure for the day. (I'm starting to feel like we actually can do stuff during the day instead of just having to stay around the house. So hopefully we can go for a walk and then prepare for group.)

So maybe our adventures include going to Wal-Mart, but it's still amazing none the less.

Blessings,
Emily

Tip of the Day

2010-03-25T21:36:00.000-07:00

Not only should you wash your baby's neck rolls, but you should be sure to dry that area really well.

Yeah and if you don't...it might start to stink just a little bit....or a lot! (Especially if your baby is adorably chubby)

Just ask me since I know. :)

Lessons you learn as you go- #1.

St. Patrick's Day Celebration

2010-03-23T10:54:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday we should have been in Erin, TN.

We go there every year.

They have a huge Irish Day Celebration for such a small town.

My grandmother lives there.

My mom went to high school there, where they are the Fighting Irish and their colors are Green and White.

Rumor has it that many Irish men stopped there and settled when working on the railroad. So St. Patrick's Day is huge for them.

They have a big parade and downtown there is a carnival.

We go every year.

Except this year.

We were in Indiana awaiting clearance to head to Tennessee and my grandmother was in the hospital. *She is getting better, but still not out yet.*

So I just had to post some pics from our years in the past of going to the parade. There is a plan. My parents get there really early and my dad parks at the Post Office and walks to my grandmother's apartment. We get there about 30-45 minutes before the parade starts and pick everyone up from my grandmother's and drive to our saved spot. Every year.
Then after the parade we go to the Ridge Restaurant. (Probably not it's name anymore, but that is what we still call it. You know those local restaurants that go through lots of names, but still serve the same great food. Gotta love the South.) I always get fried fish. YUMM.

So we missed it this year, but hopefully we can take Manny in the future. He will love it I'm sure!!!

-Pics from the past few years-

This year Manny sporting his St. Patrick's Day shirt. :)

Manny is coming to Clarksville

2010-03-20T09:29:00.000-07:00

We are headed to Clarksville, TN April 10th for a special event.

I hope all of you Clarksville folks can come out and Meet Manny...and hear Daniel and these other great artists sing...all to raise money for Africa for Jesus's new thrift store. (But who am I kidding- I know you really just want to meet Manny. ha!)

Here are the details:
Come support Africa for Jesus by attending SPRING SING & BLING, set for Saturday, April 10, at First Church of the Nazarene, 150 Richview Road in Clarksville, TN. Doors open at 4:00 PM. The music portion of the event will FEATURE the return of Daniel Doss to Clarksville. We will also be honored by appearances from Making Malorie, Lydia Walker, Engaging Pursuit and SPECIAL GUEST singer/songwriter Felicia Barton, an American Idol contestant from last season and a worship leader in Virginia Beach, VA.

There will also be a SILENT AUCTION featuring approximately 100 items and services from the community!

Additionally, the event is a celebration of AJF's newest addition, the second location of NewSpring Thrift Store. The Clarksville location will open on April 15 and will be located at 1810 Madison Avenue, near the old hospital location. NewSpring's first store opened in Hopkinsville, KY, in October 2009.

Africa for Jesus recruits, trains and supports native African missionaries to spread the gospel to the unreached. There are approximately 80,000 villages in Africa whose people have never heard the name of Jesus. It is AFJ's mission to spread the good news to those villagers, and to teach them to make disciples themselves. One life, one village at a time.

Unbelievable Blessing

2010-03-18T21:22:00.000-07:00

I can't even believe I'm getting to type this.

My best friend Amanda has an almost 2 year old adopted daughter. Amanda and her husband are dear friends of ours. I have been friends w/ Amanda since middle school. We have shared many milestones. We were married the same summer. We have both dealt w/ infertility. We both moved away from Clarksville, then moved back, then moved out of state. (Luckily we did get to live there at the same time for awhile.)

And now they have an opportunity to adopt another baby girl. It just kinda all fell into their laps...at the last minute. I can't even believe we will have the opportunity to watch our babies grow up together. Although we don't live in the same state we still vacation together and visit each other regularly.

Their new baby girl was born in Tennessee which has adoption laws that make the process take quite awhile. We are all praying that it all works out and trusting the Lord with all the details. It is a very exciting opportunity and they got to bring little Chloe Grace home from the hospital today!!!

This is an extra special blessing from the Lord. #1. Because we had no idea it was about to happen and #2 Because it will be so sweet to have our children be less than a month apart.

:) I have to keep smiling about it, otherwise I get sad that I'm not in Clarksville right now visiting w/ them. (She was still trying to work out a time to come meet Manny when all this came about.) We are not cleared to travel out of state yet so we are staying put for awhile. We are having a great week in Valpo though so I feel as though we are sharing in their blessing.

Tip of the Day

2010-03-18T06:39:00.000-07:00

If you have a weak stomach do not proceed. (I'm warning you...)

Just in case your dog acts like our black lab Suzy and starts acting out when she is no longer the only child. In case your dog starts eating anything and everything within reach. Or even if she eats things that are on the kitchen table that she has never gotten to before. Such as a pan of blondie brownies. This post is for you.

Just a warning. That she will get sick. She won't get sick at 3:15am when the baby is awake. Or even at 4am when the baby is still dozing back off to sleep. No she will wait until 5:30am when everyone is back to sleep. She will make disgusting choking/throw up sounds and you will probably think it's the baby.

Nope, just the dog.

But when you get up to check you will find huge piles of dog vomit. Possibly 3 if your dog is anything like ours. Be very careful if you are the one cleaning it up, it might cause you to dry heave.

But here's the tip. Baby soap/shampoo works wonders on carpet stains. Works. Wonders.

Especially if your dog eats a whole pan of blondie brownies and throws up at 5:30am.

1st Worship Experience

2010-03-14T14:31:00.000-07:00

My husband Daniel is an amazing worship leader. His website is www.danieldossband.com. He is an amazingly gifted singer/song writer. He was signed to Sparrow Records and we toured for awhile. He has led worship all across the country (and generally I tag along.) He is a man of integrity and an amazing husband.

This past year we settled into the calling of him being a church planting worship leader. He has the ability to build a team. We haven't even been here a year and we have an amazing band. When we first came the pastor and core group of GracePoint only knew one musician in the area. Daniel is a gifted worship leader and lets the Lord lead him. I love worshiping under his leadership and honestly have a hard time if the worship is mediocre. He has spoiled me. He is genuine and leads from the heart, he makes it easy to see past the stage and lights and focus on the heart of God.

That being said this morning I took our son to church for the first time. (Some of you pastor's wives may understand that for us it's not a family outing. Daniel always leaves earlier than I do and we hardly ever get to sit together as a family. I'm not bitter, that's just the way it is.)

We got there and of course everyone was thrilled to see Manny. I intentionally kept him in his car seat until the 1/2 way through the service when he started getting fussy. Afterward everyone wanted to hold him and smooch him and tell him how glad they were that he was finally here. Needless to say I was one proud mama.

During worship though...when Manny's daddy was leading...tears just streamed down my face. I have been worshiping these last few months/years in hope that this day would someday come. In the valleys and on the mountaintops I worshiped. But today the tears just flowed. I couldn't help but think- Baby boy- do you even know what you've gotten yourself into? That Jesus is going to sweep you off your feet and take you on an amazing adventure. That I hope you love Him, worship Him, and follow Him just like your daddy. I looked down and told him- Baby Boy- this is what we do. We worship the Lord.

I cried some more. And then I was thinking about how great God is no matter the circumstances of our lives. That He is worthy of our worship as we waited for this child and now that we hold him in our arms. HE IS WORTHY. (I totally don't want that to sound like God is worthy of worship because He has blessed us. He is worthy all on His own simply for being who He is.)

What an amazing first! Glory to God.

Stacy took some pics on her phone of us hanging out in the back when Manny got fussy. :)

Best Day Yet

2010-03-12T09:42:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was our best day yet.
Manny and I had a little play date yesterday. Daniel asked what those were and what that was all about, and what was Manny going to do. I explained it was mainly for the Mommy's. I had fun hanging out with my friend Beth whose husband is also in the ministry at another church in town. We always have lots to talk about and she has a 2 year old who as well as an infant. She's a great mom and it's easy to ask her questions. Yesterday we figured out that Baby Manny L-O-V-E-S those baby swaddling blankets w/ the velcro. I was swaddling him with a regular blanket, but he could wiggle out. These he can't. It was like magic. He was fussing and we swaddled him up tight and he was fast asleep in less than 2 minutes.

You better believe I dug mine out as soon as we got home. :) And he slept 5 hours straight last night. W-O-W!

Yesterday we also had lots of firsts:
1st rainy day.
1st thunderstorm. (Which is much nicer in Indiana than in Tennessee because we have a much lower threat of a tornado.)
1st rainbow. (And maybe the biggest one I've ever seen. You could see the entire thing and it was huge and brilliant.)
1st time listening to Motown.
1st time waking up only for his bottle then going right back to sleep. (Maybe not the first time, but it was such an easy process last night that it deserves a first.) :)

We had so much fun yesterday. And today we are preparing for the Doss's visit. They are flying in this afternoon. We are soon to be headed to the airport to pick them up. This will be the first time they've seen baby Manny in person and we are all excited about their visit.

What a difference a year makes

2010-03-06T10:32:00.000-08:00

One year ago today we visited Valparaiso, IN for the first time.

We had a great weekend, but I was FREEZING the whole time. People had on short sleeves. I was blown away. Today I have such a nice day out. It's 42 degrees out today and now I'm not even going to wear a coat today. What a difference a year makes.

2009 was definitely the hardest year of my life. But we made it. We are investing in a church plant now in Valparaiso that just launched 7 community groups and is weekly experiencing changed lives. It is truly amazing and I am so glad that one year ago God stirred our hearts to come and serve here. (And today Kim from GracePoint is getting baptized...I remember the Sunday she accepted Christ- Daniel looked at her and said- This is why we are here.) WOW happy anniversary!

And the most noticeable difference a year makes is that now I'm a mom. I still can't get over that at times. I'm FINALLY a mom. Definitely amazing and wonderful and sleep deprived all at the same time. :)

So glad to get to show around a TN gal on our first anniversary. "Aunt" Holly came to visit and spoil little Manny man a bit. hehe.

Miracles do Happen

2010-03-03T08:17:00.000-08:00

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

So they finally finished all the paperwork as I texted all those people who were available only by phone, but were very much a part of the adoption process. (*For those of you who hope to adopt or are about to adopt the paperwork takes a LONG time.)

The entire entourage came out of the room and we made our way in. I totally missed it, but I guess the hospital social worker told Daniel that we'd get to take our baby home that night!! I had a gift and a card for birthmom S and was wanting to make sure that she got it so I totally missed the exciting news.

We gave her her card and as she cried her cousin reaffirmed that he was here to comfort her and that we could go.

We left the room I found out that not only were we going to get to see the baby we were going to get to bring him home that night. Daniel and I hugged and celebrated. Praising the Lord for the miracle He had done.

We then went to a waiting room to read over our papers. (Jan had given us the papers earlier, but I really couldn't concentrate enough to read them.) She had to go downstairs and tell her rude husband that they were going to get to go home that night. (Hopefully he was thankful...so glad I didn't run into him again...)

We read over our papers. We kept asking the hospital social worker's trainee if it was really true that we'd get to bring him home tonight.

Jan came back from coddling her husband and said as soon as we signed we'd get to so get our baby. The social worker was working on getting him discharged. (He had to be discharged to Jan, due to the adoption process.)

We sign our papers and the social worker leads us to the nursery. We wash our hands and put on these yellow gown things. We drop all of our stuff (coats, jackets, purses) by the sinks apparently this is a back entrance and everything was safe there. This nursery isn't one that people can look into, it's a completely closed separate room. All the nurses were back there and tons of babies. I kept looking at each one thinking is that him, is that him. Then as we walked around the corner the nurses introduced us to our baby!!! They had him ready for us just waiting to be taken home. When they showed him to us I was just beside myself. HE WAS SO HANDSOME.

We picked him up, told him how sweet and handsome he was and immediately took some pics. :)

The nurses celebrated with us and congratulated us. They discharged him and gave us final instructions.

Daniel went to get our car seat out of the car and pull the Trailblazer up to the front of the hospital.

I changed his clothes and one of the nurses went and brought him a special little going home outfit. We were able to thank the nurses for taking extra tender care of him since we weren't able to come until that moment.

They asked his name and doted over little Oliver Emmanuel.

Daniel got back with the car seat and we strapped him in and tucked blankets around him and were off. They put him on this little wooden table of a thing with wheels and the nurse walked us down to the front. She clicked the car seat into place and we were off.

We were just beside ourselves thinking about the miracle that had taken place.
1. The birth of our healthy baby boy on Sunday February 21st.
2. That the birthmom had allowed us to bring him home that day- Wednesday February 24th.

PRAISE THE LORD!

Headed to the Hospital

2010-03-01T18:54:00.001-08:00

Part 1
Part 2

Finally we got the call that she was going to sign the papers, but we could not bring the baby home until Thursday. The birthmother wasn't being discharged until Thursday due to high blood pressure and wanted the baby to stay the night with her. We were just going to sit tight until Thursday, but were so bummed and waves of anxiousness would come getting me all stirred up. On one hand I could totally see her not wanting to stay in the hospital on the Maternity floor without a baby, and on the other hand I thought the longer she stayed with the baby I feared the harder it'd be for her to give him up.

*Honestly at one point I even thought that she might sign the papers, get her money, and try to leave with the baby. (That was my worst thought during the entire day.)

Pretty soon after that we got another call saying she wanted to meet us before she signed the papers...and we took off for the hospital.

By this time it had been snowing pretty good for awhile. The roads were snow covered around our area, but as we got closer to the hospital there was less snow. Daniel drove very cautiously and I kept thinking this is the day we are going to remember for the rest of our lives.

I kept texting people and telling folks that it would truly be a miracle if we got to bring our baby home, but to please pray that the Lord would work a miracle.

We get to the hospital and of course can't find the front entrance. The Emergency Room is plain and clearly marked, but the front entrance...well I'm not sure I ever really saw it. We went in the closest doors and I tried to call the numbers I had for our contacts that were at the hospital with no luck. The man at the front desk of the not front doors directed us to the main lobby.

I knew I was looking for Jan- whose phone wasn't working all that well. I didn't know what Jan looked like. We get on the elevator and there is a lady with a briefcase like bag and she just looked like Jan should look. She kept staring at us, but never said a word. (One of those awkward elevator moments.) We get out of the elevator and I call her. I'm staring at the lady who we just got off the elevator with and see her answer her phone. IT'S JAN. (Daniel and I laugh at the irony of meeting Jan in the elevator, but neither of us speaking.)

She had to talk to her husband and give him the scoop. (He somehow got mixed up in her plans because she was 3 hours from home when the birthmom went into labor and they were closer to the hospital than home. He wasn't very happy with the entire situation and this really made me mad....he was going to be inconvenienced and have to stay in a hotel one more day if we had to wait until Thursday to pick up the baby. Jan had to be there for the baby to be discharged.) I had to hold my tongue around him. I mean Jan had to apologize for his behavior. So rude. I'm really surprised that Daniel didn't say something to him. Anyway- Jan said she'd been married to him for 38 years and that made me feel even more sorry for Jan. I mean COME ON- we are about to get to see the birthmom of our baby and Jan has to take time to settle her grumpy hubby down. ugh. Definitely didn't help calm my nerves.

So we head downstairs to meet the social worker at the hospital. She is very nice and also has an apprentice with her. Then we all set off to see the birthmom. It felt like we had our own little entourage.

We get to the room and Jan checks to see if birthmom S is ready. She is on the phone so we give her some time. Jan is trying to make small talk and I just can't even think at this point. (sorry Jan.)

We hear that she is off the phone and go on in. She is beautiful. I can't resist going to her side and 1/2 way hugging her. (She had a c-section so she was still resting in bed and not feeling 100%.) She was quiet and a bit timid, but really sweet. She had some questions about us and we told her we'd been married almost 10 years and tried to have children, but couldn't. We told her we'd committed to being married forever and to never divorce. We told her that the baby would be the first grandchild on both sides and that his grandparents had already gone overboard on his behalf. She wanted to know if he would be around other children. I told her that there were other babies that have been born recently at our church and that yes, he would have many friends and pretend cousins as my best friend had an adopted child as well. She asked if she could contact us and we told her that anytime she wanted she could call us through the agency. She mainly wanted to know if we were going to love her son. I got choked up on more than one occasion trying to explain the love and prayers that have gone out for this little fella we've never even met.

She said her cousin was coming that he had been her rock and support through all of this. She would like for him to meet us as well, before she signed any papers. So we went out into the hallway and waited. (I think we left because she got a phone call or the nurse came in or something...It just seemed right for us to step out...that's all I remember.)

Then a guy about our age and about our height came walking down the hall. You could tell he was eyeing us. He had huge muscles and looked like the could break us in 1/2, but he had the kindest eyes. He walked up and shook our hands then walked into her room and spoke to her alone for a while.

He invited us in and we went over all the same questions another time. Plus a few more. It came down to them having one ultimatum. They had to have our phone number or else she wasn't signing. She wanted it as a way to contact us and keep up in the future. We explained that the last adoption had fallen through and we had given them our phone number only to be harassed, yelled at, cussed at, and them asking for the baby back declaring that we had kidnapped the baby. That we would have to talk about giving them our phone number, but that we would be comfortable talking through the social worker on 3 way. For some reason they didn't like this idea...still not sure why. Her cousin explained that they came from a hard working family and that their word was their word. That they would not come looking for us or searching out the baby to steal him away, but just wanted updates on his progress and well being. Almost as a comfort that the birthom had made the right decision. At some point I do remember saying that if it did work out to be a good situation I'm sure it would be great to have their info in case he had questions about them in the future, but we just wanted them to understand that we had been burnt so badly in the recent past.

Also the cousin told us that this was definitely a decision rooted in love. That birthmom S has other children and just cannot take care of a new baby financially at this time, but that she definitely does love this baby. We told them that they had our word that only good and positive things would come out of our mouths about them and their family. And that we were so grateful and thankful for the opportunity to adopt, love and care for this baby.

The room was full of peace and trust. Neither of those feelings were present in the hospital room in Georgia with baby Jeremiah. It was very different altogether.

He wanted to talk to her in private and Daniel and I wanted to talk in private. We discussed the risk of giving them our phone number versus not and going home empty handed. We agreed that we would give them our cell number and we let her cousin know after about 15 minutes of them talking.

Then we left the room and the entourage entered the room with all the paperwork and the notary. We anxiously waited outside the room. I paced the halls with pregnant women who were trying to get their labor going. All of us waiting to get a glimpse of our brand new babies.

More to come...
Part 4

Stats

2010-03-01T08:30:00.001-08:00

Part 1

When we got the phone call we just found out that the baby was born. To this point we still didn't know if the baby was a boy or girl.

When we found out BABY BOY was born in Indiana, we thought he was about 3 hours away. That was where his birthmom was from, but she actually traveled 40 MINUTES FROM OUR HOUSE TO HAVE THE BABY! I'm not really sure why, but hey just knowing she was 40 minutes away was really hard for me to not run to the hospital and sneek a glimpse of this little man. At this point the birthmom wanted a closed adoption so we were not wanting to go visit the baby and turn her off in any way. So we waited...

Monday morning we got a phone call from a new lady. Due to my past experiences I expected bad news.

Her first words to me were, "Have you talked to Rachel?" (Rachel works for the agency.) I told her that I couldn't talk to her and that she had to call Courtney our consultant. If there was going to be any more bad news I wanted it to come from Courtney. She interrupted me saying- "It's not bad news, the baby has been born!!"

I apologized saying that I'd come to expect bad news. She explained that the baby could leave the hospital on Tuesday and that papers were to be signed at 3:30 on Tuesday. To plan for that and to meet her at the hospital at 3pm.

She said that the baby boy was healthy and handsome and he weighed 8lbs 5oz and was 19 3/4 inches long (by the way he was actually 20 3/4 inches long---as we learned when we got the paperwork from the hospital.)

So we had a plan. I was beside myself on Tuesday. Thinking that Monday night was our last full nights rest I didn't set my alarm. On Tuesday I ran errands and was just beside myself. I had to call friends and family just to talk so that I could keep my thoughts straight.

We were so excited. We were going to pick up our son at 3pm, leaving our house at 2pm.

Then at 1 something pm we got another phone call. The birthmom wasn't ready to sign the papers. (OH NO!!!) I feared that it was all crumbling beneath my feet again. That I really wasn't going to be able to make it through another adoption fall through.

So we waited until Wednesday. For some reason I had in my head that the birthmom was being discharged early Wednesday morning and that we should know the plan by 9:30am. We could get news from many different sources...At this point it seemed like there were tons of people involved.

1. Jan- from Indiana who was going to meet the birthmom and have her sign the papers.
2. Rachel- from the agency in Utah available by phone.
3. Courtney- our consultant in Georgia available by phone. (Some have asked why a consultant is needed and simply put she is the only one who is truly on your side. She is your guide and she is there to help work through little hic-ups...or in our case big ones...ha!)
3. Birthmom- who at some points got frustrated and quit answering her phone.
4. Me and Daniel- sometimes I would forget to pass on important info to Daniel simply because I was trying to keep all these other people in the loop...oops.

9:30 came and went, 10:30 came and went. I couldn't get info from any of these folks. At one point Jan's phone went out and we lost contact with her for awhile. At another point Rachel was on an airplane and we thought she was ignoring our calls. Of course your mind can play horrible tricks thinking that the birthmom had been discharged and changed her mind about her adoption plan and everyone knew but me.

Praise the Lord that wasn't the case.

More to come...
Part 3
Part 4

Two months ago today= Worst day of my life.

2010-03-01T08:05:00.001-08:00

Part 1

Last month on Feb. 1st I had a really hard time not thinking about and lingering on the fact that one month ago we had to drop our baby boy Jeremiah Cole off at the lawyers office because the birthmom had changed her mind.

January was a very hard month to get through, February marked a point when I was actually feeling like I could see the light of day again. The fact that we've moved from TN (where the buttercups are already blooming), to Indiana (where everything is snow covered) made me feel like winter was never going to end both in my real world and in my emotional state.

For a week we were hearing about birthmoms left and right. I was so confused and didn't know how to tell which one was the right one and which one was the one that God was going to use to give us a child. Last weekend it was down to two. One is Missouri who was due Feb. 17 and one in Indiana who was due Feb. 20th. The one due Feb. 20th had been matched with us by the agency. She wanted a closed adoption and didn't even want to look at profiles.

Last Sunday February 21st I wad done with adoption. I was emotionally drained and was looking at my life as good except for the adoption factor. Life was good. Indiana was good. Daniel and I were good. GracePoint was good- amazing actually. But adoption was making my entire life jaded and miserable. I told Courtney our consultant that I was fed up. She encouraged me that we were almost to the end. I really felt like I couldn't take one more day.

Then we got the phone call that our son was born that very night.

To be continued...
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

Wow! This is amazing!

2010-02-26T11:41:00.001-08:00

We are having a blast...sleepless nights and all!

I can't wait to share our story with you and about getting to meet baby Manny's sweet birthmom.

It is truly a miracle that we got to bring him home the night we did. We simply went to meet her and thought we'd have to go back the next day to pick him up. We were definitely praising Jesus on the way home...it was surreal.

I'll surely write the rest of the story soon, but for now pictures will have to do.

**Sorry these last two are small....not sure what's up with that, but I figure they are better than nothing. :)

WE HAVE A BABY!!!

2010-02-24T20:11:00.001-08:00

Welcome Oliver Emmanuel Doss!!!

Just 'Cause

2010-02-23T13:03:00.000-08:00

God knew exactly what I needed to read this morning to make it through this day so I thought I'd share...just 'cause.

Psalm 145 (New International Version)

Psalm 145

A psalm of praise. Of David.

¹ I will exalt you, my God the King;
I will praise your name for ever and ever.

² Every day I will praise you
and extol your name for ever and ever.

³ Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise;
his greatness no one can fathom.

⁴ One generation will commend your works to another;
they will tell of your mighty acts.

⁵ They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty,
and I will meditate on your wonderful works.

⁶ They will tell of the power of your awesome works,
and I will proclaim your great deeds.

⁷ They will celebrate your abundant goodness
and joyfully sing of your righteousness.

⁸ The LORD is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and rich in love.

⁹ The LORD is good to all;
he has compassion on all he has made.

¹⁰ All you have made will praise you, O LORD;
your saints will extol you.

¹¹ They will tell of the glory of your kingdom
and speak of your might,

¹² so that all men may know of your mighty acts
and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.

¹³ Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
and your dominion endures through all generations.
The LORD is faithful to all his promises
and loving toward all he has made.

¹⁴ The LORD upholds all those who fall
and lifts up all who are bowed down.

¹⁵ The eyes of all look to you,
and you give them their food at the proper time.

¹⁶ You open your hand
and satisfy the desires of every living thing.

¹⁷ The LORD is righteous in all his ways
and loving toward all he has made.

¹⁸ The LORD is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.

¹⁹ He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;
he hears their cry and saves them.

²⁰ The LORD watches over all who love him,
but all the wicked he will destroy.

²¹ My mouth will speak in praise of the LORD.
Let every creature praise his holy name
for ever and ever.

Plans Change

2010-02-23T12:00:00.000-08:00

Well it's 2pm and we are supposed to be leaving now, but plans change...

We are not going to get to sign for the baby today.

The birthmom is saying she doesn't want to sign until she is able to be discharged and for her that won't be until tomorrow.

This news of course makes me feel like she might be changing her mind, but we just don't know what is going on in her head/heart. We are praying for her!!!

Plans

2010-02-22T14:34:00.001-08:00

Can ya'll even believe it's time to make plans. Real plans. To go get our baby!?!?

Here's the plan:
We found out today the baby is not 3 hours away, but ONLY about 1 hour away!!!
(38 minutes via mapquest- 31.9 miles from here to be exact!!!)

We will go to the hospital tomorrow at 3:30pm to sign the papers and get that all squared away. The baby will hopefully be discharged by 5pm tomorrow, but they are waiting on results from a blood test to make sure he'll be ready to be discharged by then. He is healthy, I'm assuming this is just routine.

If he is ready to be discharged we can bring him home tomorrow. If not then we may have to wait until Wednesday to be able to bring him home. Either way we are finally close enough to make plans.

ahhhhh!!!!

Breaking point

2010-02-21T20:54:00.000-08:00

This morning was my breaking point.

Daniel had already left for church. I was home alone. I was having some really rough thoughts. I was feeling like I just could not bear this burden anymore. Like I was so overwhelmed that I just wasn't going to make it any longer.

The sermon today was from Kent Hughes who is our long time friend/mentor from Clarksville, TN. The service seemed riddeled with hic-ups...Satan was definitely out for a fight this morning, and it was our highest attendance to date. But Kent talked about not wavering. I was sitting there thinking about how close to wavering I am. That I just CAN NOT do this any longer. That maybe I should call Courtney and tell her we need a reprieve. I did tell her that I felt really overwhelmed today and that adoption was making my life so complicated. That everything in life is good right now except the entire adoption situation and it's just really getting to me. She gently encouraged me that she thought we were close to the end and just to keep on and not to let it consume me. I did feel like it more than consumed me today; I felt like I was drowning.

I was very honest with people at church today. Some asked how I was doing with the whole adoption thing and I was able to say - I just can't talk about it today, or that it's really rough. One poor guy asked me how I was doing and I said pretty bad. (He did ask me a couple of weeks ago if I was the one who just had a baby, so I didn't feel too bad.)

Then tonight Ben and Cindy had come over to look at small group stuff and we were taking through things and Rachel called. (Rachel works for the same agency that we were matched with when we got baby Jeremiah.) I could not answer. I just could not deal with adoption stuff today. TOO OVERWHELMED. I texted Courtney (our consultant) and asked if she could deal with whatever Rachel needed. WELL.....Rachel was calling to tell us that our son had been born.

The birthmom is keeping the baby in her room tonight, and if all goes as planned she will sign the paperwork on Tuesday and we can pick the baby up on Tuesday as well.

Please pray for us. We are so cautious and hesitant. The baby is about 3 hours away so we will get to bring him straight home. No hotel stay. No waiting for ICPC. Just home.

**There is a time period (of 30 days) for the birthmom to change her mind, but she has to take us to court and prove that we are unfit to parent and that we have neglected the baby and that her living conditions are better than what we could provide. So it seems rather complicated/far fetched. Of course so did the last adoption situation with Jeremiah and we all know how that turned out so I'm still holding my breath...and probably will until it's all finalized.

***Also I hesitate to blog about this because it seems that as soon as I do something changes. I'm hoping that this is really the end as I can't take much more. -Kent also talked about holding on to hope today. So good to hear when I lately have tried to throw hope out the window.

Courtney told me to sleep well tonight cause that baby is coming home soon! :)
I am longing for those sleepless nights.

Touching commercials

2010-02-18T18:45:00.000-08:00

I'm watching the Olympics.

A Visa commercial just came on about the figure skating couple from 2006 that had a horrible fall...I didn't catch their names. No one thought they would be able to continue.....but they went on to win the silver medal.

I was gripped by this 30 second commercial. they.got.back.up.

I was telling someone today about how many times we have been close to giving up...but that someday when our child is here with us we will tell them that we got back up.

(No news today. Still anxiously waiting.)

A few more days...

2010-02-17T20:19:00.000-08:00

We are not traveling to Alabama.

On Monday we found out that there were some issues that the state of Alabama had with our homestudy. We also found out some information about our birthmom. She was having some health issues and found out that this will definitely be her last baby. The risk of her keeping the baby was too much for us to handle, and our agency was telling us we would owe at least $2,500 if the birthmom chose to keep the baby. We had horrific flashbacks of having our baby taken from us yet again.

Before we made a decision we were presented with a birthmom who lives in Indiana. She is due on Saturday. She has not had much prenatal care so we do not know if this baby will be a boy or a girl. She gave a baby up for adoption exactly a year ago and since she lives in our state we do not have issues with ICPC (legally traveling from the birthmom's state to home state.)

Generally the moment I post things on facebook or our blog they change. Please continue to pray for us and that our agency will be fair and honest. We have reason to believe that they are not being fair or honest. (I do want to give them the benefit of the doubt and am hoping they come through.) **Courtney with Faithful Adoption Consultants is not who we are having issues with. She has been our faithful support and is continually fighting for what is right. We are so grateful to have her on our side though all of this. Today there was a situation that occured with our agency where my palms were actually sweating I was so upset. I hate feeling like I'm being taken advantage of. At times I feel like we are too kind simply because we love Christ. Well He was bold and He loved justice.

I honestly hope that by reading our story you can see that trusting Jesus is the only way to live. I can not imagine living without HIM in our lives. We would have no guidance; we would have no hope.

We are content in Christ. Baby or no baby. Christ is our joy and we have learned the hard way that suffering will bring us even closer to Him.

We are not anxious about this weekend. For me I really have a feeling it's not going to happen. Maybe it's my way of guarding my heart. I love that we have people praying for us, but please try not to get too wrapped up in our story. I have certain blogs that I read and sometimes get too emotionally involved in their lives. I'd hate for other people to get their hopes up only to have them dashed. God knows what our weekend looks like and what He has in store for our future. We HAVE NO IDEA. But one thing we are sure of- HE WILL BE WITH US. He is WITH us! I hope more than anything that you know the love of Christ and that He will be your EVERYTHING. No agency, no birthmom, noone can take the love of Christ away from me. And for that I am eternally grateful.

Not traveling tomorrow...but not worried.

2010-02-16T19:29:00.000-08:00

Hey folks-
Of course our adoption journey can't be cut and dry.

We are not heading out of town tomorrow (Wednesday.)

Stay tuned for further details.

The major caution is that we are trying our hardest to guard our hearts. We are hoping that we will be holding our little bundle of joy by this weekend.

We want to be sure that the birthmother signs all paperwork before we head out of town- just for precautions sake.

THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR PRAYERS.

Big News!!!

2010-02-12T21:47:00.000-08:00

Today we found out we were awarded a matching grant for our adoption.

If you would like info about our matching grant and some top secret news about our adoption journey leave a comment with your email address.

I WILL NOT POST YOUR EMAIL ADDRESSES, it's just a way for me to collect them so I can send out one big email blast!!!

The gift

2010-02-11T08:20:00.000-08:00

I love gifts.

Therefore I love to give good gifts.

When I think about us maybe adopting again in the future I want to give the birthmom we are matched with a precious gift.

But what do you give?

She is giving us her child to raise and to love. What gift can you give in return that is adequate? I can find nothing valuable enough, but sentimental- that I can find.

Yesterday I found a necklace.

Sorry for the pic quality, but I couldn't figure out how to describe it and our camera is in the shop. It has a larger circle that intertwines into the smaller circle. On the side of the outside circle it says: "I am thankful that your path crossed mine." On the tag, under the word Friendship it says: "...I am thankful that in God's design he planned it so your path crossed mine."

He does have a plan!

I mean what more can you say. I am so very thankful. (And hopeful that our paths will cross someday soon!!) And now I feel more ready than ever. We have the nursery decked out and we have lots of baby things....And now we have the perfect gift!

Congrats: KMS Boys Basketball

2010-02-05T09:22:00.000-08:00

In Clarksville, TN a few years ago I taught some of the students in PE who are now on the KMS Boys Basketball team. They won the county wide tournament last night.

Just wanted to say how proud I am of them! Congrats guys!

http://www.theleafchronicle.com/article/20100205/SPORTS/2050316/Kenwood-middle-school-boys-hold-on-for-title

Blog Tutorial

2010-02-04T15:01:00.001-08:00

One of Deborah's best friends Amy posted on her blog a link of how to make blog headers.

I worked on this today and viola. A new blog header, that I created.
It turned out to be very fun and easy.

Here is the direct link to Clover Lane where they give specific directions.

Also Amy who initially posted the link has some big news today---she was just matched with a little girl from China. So Congrats Amy!!! She has been waiting a long long time to get this news!

Things that make me so mad

2010-02-04T14:04:00.000-08:00

News today on Yahoo.com:
Americans charged with kidnapping in Haiti.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/cb_haiti_americans_detained

If you haven't heard the story 10 Americans went to Haiti and were taking orphans to the Dominican to an orphanage. Not exactly sure how the got the children...that's the part that is under investigation...as well as what they were going to do with these children. (adopt them out or reunite them with their families...)

Do they have a clue?

And it angers me that they say it's all in the name of Jesus. MY JESUS. I hate it when people give Him a bad name. Granted I'm sooo not perfect and many times give him a bad name, but this story just makes me angry.

Probably because I'm so anxious to help these orphans and babies and would welcome a few of them home to my house, but because of these people it is going to be such a hard road.

"She acknowledged they had not sought permission from Haitian officials, but said they just meant to help victims of the quake." Ummm HELLO- Who do you think you are that you can just take some children out of their country free and clear without asking anyone?!?

I mean if that was the case then let me just hop on a plane and go pick out some kidos to call my own. NO! There is a process and there are laws in place!

I am bothered most by the fact that there are some out there that are going to abuse this tragedy making it harder for those of us who would like to see good come out of it.

I was following a story of a boy from Haiti whose father from America was trying to get him home. At one point he could not get a flight out of Haiti because NO ONE would fly out any orphans. Luckily they have made it to the US but I can't help but wonder how much harder these 10, who were claiming to be doing good, made it for the Parker's to get their son home. So glad they have made it to the United States. May their journey truly begin now as they welcome their son home. Glory to God that there are some good stories along with the bad. Otherwise I might lose all hope.

FEB 1, 2010

2010-02-02T19:50:00.001-08:00

Well I made it to the one month mark.
One month since we had to return our baby boy to his birthmom after parenting him for 9 days.

Feb. 1st was harder than I expected. Something about the mere anniversary was hard. Something about the pain that I felt January 1st welling up again made it a day that my heart was heavy.

But we made it. We are still alive and trudging forward. And it's been a whole month. Someone said- Just think, a month ago you never thought you'd make it this far. (so true!)

The father I get from that day there are some things that I am noticing. I can't talk about the details. Even just beginning to walk down that road with someone that asks out of concern, I have to stop; I just can't go there yet. It sends me to an unhealthy place that takes a long time to recover. (Good thing to learn that one quickly and not have to re-learn that lesson over and over.)

I don't want to talk about future possibilities either. They seem to be so up and down, up and down that I just don't want to have to tell people, then feel like I have to keep them up to date. I might get new information and then I'm having to think now who did I tell, and what was the latest version of the story that I told them... It's just easier to keep it all at bay. Courtney (our amazing adoption consultant) is doing a fabulous job guarding me from taking another trip on that emotional roller coaster by just giving us information in big chunks and not minute details.

Right now my daily goals are to #1 Spend time with God, #2 Don't be too hard on myself, #3 Do something that I can be proud of that day.

(I know I know- most of you made your New Years Resolutions on Jan 1, but I didn't even think twice about resolutions this year. It was all about survival from the heartache that day. So maybe my resolutions aren't that big or grand, but they represent where I am right now. Too often I beat myself up for not having it all together. Maybe this is a better way? Walking forward day by day, one step at a time.)

Military Wives

2010-01-29T20:24:00.000-08:00

So I was watching Say Yes To The Dress the other day and a military fiance was on. She was picking a dress and her hubby to be was serving overseas. His mom was there with her helping to pick out the perfect dress. As they showed his pic and told about him serving our country I got choked up.

I think it was two fold. I am SO VERY GRATEFUL for the men and women who serve in the military. I know that it takes extra effort and strength from the entire family. For 4 years I taught in an elementary school where the majority of the students were from military families. It was very real to us the effects of deployment.

Secondly I miss living in a military town. Seeing people wearing fatigues walking around the mall and Wal-mart. It was ever present in my mind. The families of these soldiers who are so very strong and courageous and who carry on while thinking about their loved one being in harms way day in and day out.

There is a new ministry in Clarksville, TN specifically for Military Wives.

You can get more info here: http://www.thelanternclarksville.com/

I'm hoping that someone in Clarksville, TN might be reading this and might be interested. I know that there are ministries out there just for Pastor's Wives that I greatly benefited from. Just having a common bond and going through similar experiences seems to bring us together in unique ways.

If this post doesn't at all pertain to you maybe we could just join together in praying for these ladies as they get to be a part of this new ministry.

(Special shout out to Renee who is in charge of the blog. And Heather who has curly hair in the video. Miss you guys!)

I love my Mother-in-Law

2010-01-27T10:21:00.000-08:00

If you haven't met my mother-in-law Carolyn Doss you are missing out. She is a fine example of someone living a Godly life and being a wonderful wife and mother. Daniel and I have almost been married 10 years and she has accepted me and loved me from the beginning; I couldn't ask for a better extended family.

On Monday we got news that she found out the cancer is back. (Apparently it's not much, but it's back.) Not what any of us wanted to hear....

Please join me in praying for her.

Here are a few lines from her CaringBridge page where you can see her heart:
"We've tried to yield our bodies as living sacrifices as the Lord wills. He's in control. Praise Him--He sees from beginning to end and wants what is best for us."

I needed to hear that today- He sees from beginning to end and wants what is best for us. Our family believes these truths and we are having to live them out in ways we never thought we'd have to, but WE STILL BELIEVE. We know He is with us through the storms and valleys and we know there will be clear skies and mountaintops again.

New Song for this Season

2010-01-26T06:21:00.000-08:00

I love it when a song speaks the words of your heart for the season you are in.

As I was in the car driving (home from the airport in Chicago and then the next day to Louisville, KY) I had some great time to listen to music. It seemed like every song that came on the Christian Radio station was just right for my current season. I love that. (And apologized for sometimes making fun of Christian radio stations for being so cheesy.)

But there is one song from this past weekend's Siesta Scripture Memory Celebration that is so fitting for this season of my life.

Do It Lord by Travis Cottrell from the Jesus Saves Live CD

lyrics:
I see Your glory covering the earth Lord
Just as the waters are covering the sea
I see the millions coming to salvation
I see revival, fire in the land
I see the lost nameless ones remembered
I see the widows shouting out your praise
I see the friendless loved and celebrated
Orphans fulfilling Lord, your calling on their lives.

Do it Lord Do it Lord
Do it Lord We are praying
Do it Lord Do it That your glory may be seen

This is our prayer O God
This is our desperate cry
In these days that we're living now
Let your Kingdom come Let your will be done

Here is one of my scripture memory verses from last year that I was able to share this weekend when we paired off.

Psalm 113:9 "He settles the barren woman in her home as the happy mother of children. Praise the Lord."

Do it Lord. Do it. That Your glory may be seen!
Let your will be done!

Healing Heart in Houston

2010-01-23T20:04:00.000-08:00

I just got home from the Scripture Memory Team Celebration. It was a mini-Beth Moore Conference/Celebration for people who had memorized verses in 2009 and kept up with her blog.

IT WAS SO MUCH FUN.

There were 507 women gathered in Houston, TX from 42 states.

I made some new friends and got to visit with Kelly from Clarksville too!

It was a blast.

Just what my weary broken heart needed.

I got to meet Amanda Jones (Beth Moore's daughter) and thanked her for allowing me to come and how special this trip was to me since the adoption fell through and I really wasn't supposed to have been able to come. My friend Kelly signed me up after the deadline and their response was "It sounds like God has her down to come." ~Jenn **We got to meet Jenn and tell her thanks for letting me sneak in at the last minute.

I feel so refreshed. So renewed. I know and understand that this journey of grief and pain is definitely not over, but I know that the Lord used this weekend to REVIVE MY SPIRIT.

All the teaching was on Psalm 119 (which has 176 verses.)

The part that spoke directly to me was when she talked about Psalm 119:28 "My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word."

HE IS STRENGTHENING ME AND WILL CONTINUE TO! PRAISE THE LORD!

Kelly and I won a free nights stay at the hotel in Houston.
Grace Community Church pitched in for my flight to get there.
My friends sent me with spending money.
And God MET ME THERE!

Praise the Lord.

My Two Favorite Adoption Blogs

2010-01-19T12:41:00.001-08:00

My two favorite adoption blogs are coming together in a way to support Haiti.

I met Jamie Ivey through my best friend Melanie when they went to church together. We weren't on the adoption train yet, but I started following her blog after meeting her. Her husband is Aaron Ivey who is also a Worship Leader and he and Daniel had played some of the same places at that point.

I can't remember how or when I started following The Johnson-McCormick Family Blog, but I love it and watching them deal with adoption of their twins in every day life.

Well today to my surprise The Johnson-McCormick Family Blog featured a video by Aaron Ivey!

Both of these families have adopted from Haiti. Jamie and Aaron still have a little boy waiting to come home from Haiti.

**I have heard that it would be very difficult to begin an adoption from Haiti at this time, but if you know anyone, who knows anyone with different information, we would LOVE to be able to adopt a child or sibling group from Haiti.

Your Move

2010-01-17T20:29:00.000-08:00

Today began a new sermon series at GracePoint.
It's called Your Move.

Ben and Daniel do an amazing job. (I'm just saying.)

My notes:

Your Move is about when you adjust due to circumstances in your life.
Your Move is the direction you chose to go.

Chose the direction that leads you towards Christ.
Luke 15 was the scripture. Lost Sheep, Lost Coin, Lost Boy

Move towards God.

~~~~~~~~******~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~******~~~~~~~~******~~~~~~~~*****

Perfect timing for us as we are considering our next move in life.

~~~~~~~~******~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~******~~~~~~~~******~~~~~~~~*****

Also during the service Ben told Dale and Janice's story. They started coming to GP a few months ago. One day last month they showed up in Ben's office and asked him to sign a marriage certificate, he did and they were married then. Ben wanted to be sure that we had a time to celebrate with them in a marriage ceremony though. Today was that day! They have had some major struggles in life including addictions and a rough past, but they have given their lives to Jesus and were baptized at our last baptism celebration. They had been living together and realized they wanted to honor God with their new life together. So after the service today we celebrated with them in a marriage celebration. IT WAS AWESOME. Not only did we celebrate them coming to Jesus, but to committing their lives to each other. They invited all their friends to their wedding, as well as to the service today. For many of their friends it was a first to come to church and Dale commented afterward how awesome it was the God is already using them. Truly a great day for GracePoint. I'm so glad we are here and able to be a part of seeing lives being transformed. I also love the fact that they came to the conclusion to get married on their own, not due to condemnation or being guilt tripped into it. Jesus is truly changing their lives from the inside out. It's challenging to me. Am I moving toward Christ, am I honoring Him in my decisions, and what MOVE is He asking me to make.

VERY-GOOD-DAY!

Random

2010-01-16T07:38:00.000-08:00

1. Happy Birthday to my dad. These are the times when it's hard to live 8 hours away. It would be great to be able to go out to eat and celebrate today. And give him a big hug. I love my dad so very much. (For those of you who go to GCC- tell him Happy Birthday for me tomorrow if you see him!!!)

2. Yesterday we went to Meijer (a grocery store like Wal-mart for us Northwest Indiana folks). It was our first time to go there and it was amazing. I got a purse for 11.00. And was tempted to buy jewelry. We got baby Doss a onesie that says, "I'm with the band." (Spell check is saying I'm spelling onesie wrong, but I can't think of another way to spell it and it's not giving suggestions.) We got some really pretty hand towels for the kitchen that go great with the new paint colors. So lots of random stuff and really good prices.

3. We went to see Avatar, IMAX, 3-D. I'm glad we went to see it; I didn't know anything about it going into it. It was very outside the box and was a great one to see in the theater. Daniel REALLY ENJOYED it.

4. Yesterday I was thinking the whole Jeremiah situation is still really fresh. It's only been 15 days since we held him in our arms. I'm being too hard on myself to expect to have already worked through everything. We are definitely still in the middle of the process of healing.

5. Haiti. Wow. What heartbreak. What devastation. Unbelievable. You can go here to buy a T-Shirt from a guy who has adopted from Haiti and has another little boy there who they are still waiting on bringing home. He is a Christian music artist/worship leader and is donating all the money from selling these t-shirts to a rescue center in Haiti.

Overwhelmed

2010-01-14T21:34:00.000-08:00

Today I wondered is our agency that is trying to help actually hurting us even more?
It's like they know they caused us severe heartache and they want to make it right.
So they are presenting us with many many many situations, we just have to find the right one that fits.

On Sunday at church I got a call about a possible situation a baby born in Michigan....the fees were too high for us after taking a loss on baby Jeremiah's legal fees...I told her they'd either have to come down off the fees or would have to give us time to re-coup the money we'd just lost. (Yes we did have to pay fees for the baby we just returned...don't get me started on that...) She claimed they were already giving us a discount and that would be the best deal possible, besides the money issue this baby was a few days old and was having withdrawal symptoms from drugs or alcohol, they weren't really sure . You don't even know how just seeing our agency contact's number on my caller ID sends my heart into a faster rhythm with hope and anticipation racing through my veins.

On Tuesday night we found out about a baby boy in Alabama who is due in a month or so. Apparently the birthmother and birthfather both picked our profile . But today we found out that the birthmom HASN'T TOLD HER FAMILY ABOUT HER ADOPTION PLAN. **With immediate flashbacks of the lack of birthmother support that Jeremiah's birthmom faced, we felt like we could not proceed with that situation. The hurt is too raw and the situation too similar, too risky.

Honestly we need one of two things right now. 1. some time or 2. a LOW risk situation with the right fee amount attached. (We just applied for a zero interest loan and another matching grant and will know soon if we got accepted, both of those would help tremendously on our budget.) --I jokingly have been asking if we could apply for the adoption tax credit even though we didn't get to adopt. It seems that through all these failed matches and this disrupted placement we are out about the amount 1/2 the amount it would have cost to adopt. It's frustrating because we went the road of adoption thinking we'd have a baby at the end of the money trail....instead of going the route of infertility treatments thinking that we could spend a lot of money for a chance to have a baby. (At this point we come back to the fact that we know all the money in the world belongs to God anyway and so it's not ours to begin with....we know the answers, but it still stinks to have money you've saved for adoption fly out of your bank account and no baby to bring home in the mean time...and having to wait longer due to the fact that there isn't as much money available.) God HAS A PLAN! AND THIS IS ALL A PART OF IT. I have to believe that.

But today I've gotten my hopes up and down and up again only to have them dashed yet again...I want so badly to be a mother.

I am reminded of Job 42:2 "I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted."

I have to remember that when we are presented with these situations it's really the Lord who knows when and where our baby is going to come. I am anxious to be a mother, more now than ever before. I feel like before we had Jeremiah I was ok with not being a mother, like I could have laid it all down and just walked away. But now I am so anxious, I've had a taste of that glorious thing called motherhood. It's so hard for me to say no to situations that don't meet our criteria. So hard, but I have to remember that if it is meant to be then God will work it out. I am dealing with tides of jealousy at times when I see others who so easily can mother children or who can so easily walk through the door of adoption and they don't have any concern about the financial burden.

Please pray for us as we walk this road ahead. We are contemplating a break, a time where we don't take any calls about adoption situations so that we can have a small respite. A time of peace where we don't feel like the waves of the following emotions aren't washing over us EVERY SINGLE DAY - yes we are going to be parents, no we aren't, maybe we are, oh yes it's the real deal, yippee, oh now we have more information, oh wow- wasn't expecting that, ohhh no it didn't work out....That's right within the last 24 hours we have felt each one of these emotions.

I am so confused as to what God's plan is it's just a blur right now. One moment I think- Oh this is how He's working. Oh this is the next step, then instantaneously it's blurry and looking bleak again. I MUST REMEMBER: JOB 42:2 "I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted."

Right now I'm just feeling overwhelmed.

Painting and Motown

2010-01-12T22:02:00.000-08:00

Amanda has been here and we have PAINTED! We painted the entire kitchen/living room (one big room), hallway, and up the stairwell. WHEW! Two coats of Kenya paint color (rich caramely taupe) from Home Depot and we are set.
During the second coat we listened to Motown.

We started to notice that there are a ton of Motown songs that are relevant to adoption.

For instance:

Signed Sealed Delivered
"Here I am baby (signed, sealed delivered, I'm yours)"

And:
Can't Hurry Love

"I need to find, find someone to call mine
But mama said

You can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
It's a game of give and take

You can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
You got to trust, give it time
No matter how long it takes

But how many heartaches
Must I stand before I find a love"

There was one more, but now after all that painting we can't remember....
The house looks great. We have a couple more rooms left, but we made SO MUCH PROGRESS TODAY!!!

Any other Motown songs out there that you can think of that when you look at through the lens of adoption they have a cool meaning?

Daniel suggested the song Son of a Preacher Man...guess he is hopeful for a boy in the future. :)

Bridesmaids and Best Friends

2010-01-11T10:27:00.000-08:00

I am one blessed girl.
God definitely has given me the best girlfriends in the world.
It just happened that the day that N (Jeremiah's birthmom) called and said she had changed her mind Holly had planned a trip to Atlanta.
We were right outside of Atlanta and she was able to come visit. I was a MESS! But was so glad she was there with us.

Then on the dreaded day when we returned Jeremiah we went straight to Melanie and Tony's house. That was truly the perfect place. They let us be real and cry at a moments notice if we needed to. They fed us dinner and we just got to chill. We talked about other things and life in general, but baby Jeremiah came up every now and then. It was a very healthy and safe place to be.

We got to spend time with Deborah when we went back to the Doss's to crash for awhile. She is always a bright light of joy and fun and was I was so glad to be able to spend some down time with her.

And after many phone conversations along the way, Amanda is getting to come visit TODAY. I am so very excited about her coming. She knows me well enough to know that we probably needed some alone time back at home before her visit. She is on her way and I have some major goals. I want to paint the master bedroom, turn the guest bedroom into the nursery instead of having the nursery upstairs at the top of the landing, as well as organizing and de-cluttering. She is so good at that, but I am generally way too sentimental. So hopefully with her help we can make some major progress...it will truly be therapy for me.

Amazing to me that almost 10 years after my wedding day these close friends are still that and were here for me in my darkest days. I am truly blessed.

**Our families were amazing during this time as well. They provided strength and comfort and were there to share many tears. We are blessed indeed to have such an amazing circle around us of close family and friends. And for the prayers from those along the way I am forever grateful. :)

It's a new day

2010-01-08T09:13:00.000-08:00

I am coming to peace with the fact that Jeremiah Cole Doss was only supposed to be with us for 8 days, then return to his birthmother. That this was God's plan all along. That no one messed up His plan, but that was His plan all along. That God did not lose control for 8 days, but that this was all a part of His bigger plan. Not that I understand His plan at all, but I'm coming to peace with it.

1 Corinthians 2:9 However, as it is written:"No eye has seen, no ear has heard,no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him."

Surely this isn't the end of our story. Surely there is more to come. Surely there is maybe not a happy ending, but a resolution to our longing to be parents. I know that God's love is not based on what we do or don't do. It's so hard though to not think we are being punished for something. That this heartache was brought on by our wrongdoings, but that goes against what I believe about God.

Romans 8:35-39 "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:
"For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

He loves us.

He wants us to trust Him when we can't see beyond tomorrow.
And that is what I'm trying to do more than anything.

-And now it's time to go play in the snow. (There is more snow here than I have EVER SEEN! Still not sure about the final verdict as to whether or not I love it. It's kinda overwhelming to me right now.)

When the Bottom Falls Out

2010-01-07T13:44:00.001-08:00

Today has not been an easy day to say the least.

I'm so glad a friend sent me this video to watch.

Check it out here:

http://www.newspring.cc/series/hope

We are home

2010-01-06T15:41:00.001-08:00

We made it home tonight and were welcomed by 4 inches of snow in our yard and someone from church had plowed our driveway and shoveled our sidewalks. I know that 4 inches is relative....Indiana folks probably think that is barely a dusting, but us folks from TN think that is a ton of snow.

I saw something today that I've NEVER seen before. I school parking lot that had been plowed with cars still in the parking lot and school still in session!

Hoping that my friends in Tennessee get a dusting so they can have a snow day tomorrow. :)

It's good to be home. Now just to get the Christmas stuff down and get everything settled.

Update

2010-01-04T17:23:00.001-08:00

We are really feeling prayers from family and friends (and those who are just praying for us without even knowing us). THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

Thank you for caring and for coming to my blog to check in on us.

This morning I woke up and didn't have some crazy dream to shake from my mind for the first time. No babies crying, no biological grandparents of our children chasing us, no having to give future babies back- all of which dreams have haunted me the last few nights.

I struggled today with thoughts of regret or things I wanted to say...hmmm...we all know how those thoughts come to your mind of what you would have said...yeah.....those things really should remain unsaid. :)

While staying with Daniel's parents, his mom offered to wash the dirty baby clothes since I just wasn't able to deal with those right now. I was so glad she did- so very glad. It's all a process and seeing the baby things that Jeremiah used or wore really sets me back. I know I will have to deal with the baby things eventually, but right now I just can't.

As far as the future:
We are not giving up on adoption.
We are not giving up on the Lord and His grace, mercy, and love.
We are not giving up on each other, but clinging to each other like never before.

I'm so grateful to have a fabulously amazing husband to stand beside me through all this and struggle through this with me. Daniel has not been overwhelmed by my tears, or questions, or frustrations, but has let me, in my own time, process things. The emotions have come in waves for both of us.

We are also grateful for a church family who is allowing us to take some much needed time to grieve and heal. Sunday they called and prayed for us over the phone. I am so glad we have had so much prayer support otherwise we would be in a very very different place right now. Giving all the glory to God for our strength!!!

And it all comes tumbling down.

2010-01-02T09:13:00.000-08:00

Well well well. Where do I even begin.
This is a first for our adoption agency.
A first for our consultant.
And truly a first for our family.

We had to make a moral decision and we have a peace that what we did was the right thing, but it doesn't make it any easier.

The birthmom's rights were legally terminated. So it would have been an open shut case when they challenged it, but she had a change of heart (with many negative extended family influences and zero support for her adoption decision.)
So we had ample reason to fight in court. But were we really ready to face that battle?

We asked God for His will and wisdom and after waves of direction as to which way to go we decided that we would give the baby back because ultimately the birthmom told us she wanted her baby back. We could not live with the reality of keeping a baby whose birthmom truly wanted him back.

We made this decision Thursday night then we had to care for this sweet little baby until yesterday at 3pm when we drooped him off at the lawyers office. That was truly my darkest night. How could I calm his sweet cries when I'm not the one who will watch him grow and how could I meet his needs so easily if I'm not the one who he will call Mom.

We have cried harder than we ever have before.

There are no right answers. There are only questions. There is only faith that God will protect this child as he enters back into a very different circumstance than what he had for 8 days with us.

I woke up with his sweet little face on my mind.

We are truly grieving.

Thank you for your prayers.

--I will NOT be answering questions at this time and right now I can't take any judgmental or hurtful comments so I have taken off the ability to comment for this post. Please just pray for us. I have felt prayers the past 24 hours like never before.

Update

2009-12-29T07:26:00.000-08:00

We are doing really well hanging out in our hotel room. My parents left Sunday afternoon. Monday our big adventure was going down to the front desk and meeting the nice hotel owner/manager. Then Yesterday's adventure was going to his first Dr.'s appt. All is well and he is almost back up to his birth weight. (now 6lb /birthweight 6lb 1oz) We also adventured out to Target. We used some gift cards from a shower and one I got in the mail right before we left. He did so well on these little adventures and it really did me good to sight see a bit.
My favorite moment of the day was gettin lost driving down gorgeous country roads in GA. Not having any agenda and sitting in the back sear with this amaIng little fella.

I can't post pics due to us not having our computers here. But Jeremiah's Aunt Deb was able to on her blog. For some cuteness check out : http://deborahdoss.blogspot.com I'm not even sure I can link it with my phone, but it will be so worth it to actually copy and paste it yourself....I promise. :)

Last night Jeremiah's Aunt Lolly (Holly Salmons) my bff from college came to see him. She and a friend were planning a trip to Atlanta anyway and journeyed out of the way a bit to meet the little mister. It was so good to see her last night.
Today another friend from college (that we found out lives nearby via facebook) is going to come visit.

The Rest of the Story

2009-12-26T19:02:00.000-08:00

When I was little my dad used to listen to Paul Harvey tell the Rest of the Story. So I thought I'd share some more details of our adoption story.

Part of the confusion may have been with the fact that we were matched with a birthmom this past September. She was due with a baby boy and she had chosen the name Jeremiah. We fell in love with this name and all the scriptures in the book of Jeremiah that were so meaningful to us during this time. That baby was due December 23rd. But within a couple of months of being matched with her, after visiting her, and helping her out monetarily, she found out that the birthfather's family wanted to raise that baby. We continue to pray for her and her baby as well, we had to grieve that loss, but we still didn't want to give up on our adoption journey.

After that our Consultant- worked really hard to find the perfect match for us. My best friends surprised us and came to visit for a late birthday. We were standing in PayLess when Courtney called and told us about a birthmom who was going to have her baby possibly by the 21st of Dec. by C-Section. It was a baby girl and the birthmom was in Gary, IN. My heart was numb. We had to talk ourselves into being excited since that last heartache was so fresh. We decided to name the baby girl Darby Layne. This time we had to really start getting things since her arrival date was nearing. Then we got a call that her doctor had changed her due date and she would not be able to have the C-Section that early. At her last Dr's appt. the Dr. would not plan a C-Section and the birthmom was getting anxious to have that baby. She wanted a closed adoption so we knew very little about her. We never got to speak to her over the phone or anything. She was ready to move on with her life and had plans for that in early January. She wanted to be completely recovered, but the Dr's in Indiana would not plan her C-Section early. She was working with an agency out of Utah. They have birthmother housing and a doctors that their clients use in Utah. She found out that in Utah the doctors would do a C-Section up to two weeks early. So she made up her mind to travel to Utah. This was her personal decision and we don't blame her for putting us out of the equation. Her decision to travel to Utah made the adoption much more expensive for us so we had to say no. 1. Her medical expenses were all covered in Indiana, but not in Utah. 2. We would then have much higher travel expenses traveling to Utah versus 30 minutes down the road.

If you adopt a baby from another state there is something called ICPC. That is the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC): An interstate compact, or agreement, that has been enacted into law by all 50 states in the United States, and the District of Columbia, which controls the lawful movement of children from one state to another for the purposes of adoption. Both the originating state, where the child is born, and the receiving state, where the adoptive parents live and where the adoption of the child will take place, must approve the child's movement in writing before the child can legally leave the originating state. This Compact regulates the interstate movement of both foster children and adoptive children. (Taken from: http://glossary.adoption.com/interstate-compact-on-the-placement-of-children-(icpc).html
Because of ICPC we would have had to stay in Utah for up to two weeks.

I posted on my Facebook for everyone to pray for the birthmom to be ready to have that baby! (Now you know the rest of the story- we knew if she wasn't ready to have that baby then we would not be getting baby girl.)

We came to Martin, TN to enjoy Chirstmas with Daniel's family early and postponed Christmas with my family because we just knew that baby girl was going to be born early so that she could come home with us.

The wonderful ladies of Gracepoint had a shower for us and finally our home was filled with tiny little baby things. (I'm very excited to announce that the major purchases were all gender neutral and can be used, but some of the sweet little pink things may have to be returned or tucked away for the possibility of our next baby being a girl.)

So we were in Martin and spending time with family. I knew that Indiana birthmom had a Dr's appointment on December 23rd and if she wasn't ready to have that baby we would be finding out that day. We were just hanging out. We had come for a 3 day vaca. (We only bring the basics to Martin...like for instance we know there are toiletries there and such. We packed light. We left our computers at home so as to get a much needed respite. I mean it was only to be for 3 days right.) :) Luckily I had a cute outfit I was going to wear to the extended family dinner little did I know that would be the outfit that I'd wear to pick up little Jeremiah.

Ok so I'm skipping around a little....back to Martin.
We were sitting there visiting with Daniel's parents, his sister, and Daniel's aunt and Uncle. We were telling them that Darby Layne was coming (praying internally that she really would) and catching them up on the story when it suddenly changed before our eyes. I had my phone attached to my hip that day awaiting a positive dr's report from Indiana birthmom. The adoption agency called to give me an update. The Doctor said that the little baby just wasn't ready yet and that he would not schedule a C-Section. The lady from the agency confirmed that the birthmom would indeed be flying to Utah in hopes of having the baby early. Before I even got a chance to let that all sink in she said....there is a baby boy that was born YESTERDAY. (In adoption world = that is huge. An already born baby is huge considering the fact that some birthmoms change their minds about the adoption decision at the last minute.) So she told me about this birthmom who had just called in a couple of weeks ago, but wasn't due until Jan 16th. She had gone into labor early, but the baby was completely healthy. She was not matched with a family yet and the lady on the phone wanted to know if we were interested. I think she phrased it like this- I mean you would have to spend the holidays in Georgia. I'm pretty sure I squeeled. A BOY! Oh My Goodness. A willing birthmom. Oh My Goodness. He was already here and needing a forever home. OH MY GOODNESS. SIGN ME UP!!! Then I was anticipating the other shoe falling. I was thinking she is going to say he's so stinking expensive that my heart was really going to break. But guess what- HE WAS RIGHT IN OUR PRICE RANGE. (I know that is so strange to say, but that is what we have grown accustomed to. Adoptions range in price due to states laws allowances of birthmother expences, her health care expenses (some birthmoms have healthcare, some don't- some have C-Sections, some have natural births), and the agency fees.

So we were waiting for a phone call from the agency that said that the birthmom would like to chose us after we told them we were DEFINITELY wanting to be presented to her. They were also trying to find a lawyer that would come out to the hospital to go over the paperwork with her and have her sign it. (Remember the agency works in Utah, the Birthmom is in Georgia and we are in TN)

We packed up everything from Daniel's parents house, took showers really quickly, and were ready to head out in record time. We left Martin (after quickly opening gifts) and headed towards GA. Luckily it's two hours from Clarksville and we were able to give some good friends a heads up. Kent and Teresa Hughes made a Toys-R-Us run and got some baby blue things. (I had the diaper bag, but it was full of baby girl things and was only ready with necessities- thinking that if we were headed to pick up a baby straight from Martin it would be all the way in Indiana and we would then get to go straight home. Kent, Teresa, and Taylor Hughes met us at Burger King off exit 4 for the drop off. And my mom met us there for the pick up of our dog Suzy. She'll be staying with them till we travel through and pick her up on our way to Indiana.

We rushed (safely) to Georgia. The trip was 9 hours from Martin, and we stopped about 2 hours short of our final destination since it was getting late. The trip made for a great time to call family and friends and get even more anxious to meet our little man. We hit the hotel and I was up bright and early the next morning (December 24th!!!)

We headed out early and then stopped by Kinko's to pick up one of our adoption profiles our consultant had sent there. We got to talk to the birthmom on a 3 way call the day before and she really liked us, but she had never seen our pictures or anything. We wanted her to have our profile to keep forever and ever. We called her to see if she needed anything or wanted breakfast and then stopped at Target. I roamed the aisles thinking WHAT DO I GET AS A GIFT TO GIVE THE BIRTHMOM OF OUR CHILD....I ended up picking a cute little candle and a bath/lotion set. Really this is a drop of sand in comparison to the gift she is giving us. I was totally embarrassed to even come in with such a shallow gift. We tucked in a CD of Daniel's and the profile to complete the package. (While we talked on the phone with her the night before she told us that she also liked to sing-something I will treasure forever and tell Jeremiah someday.)

So we headed to the hospital. Couldn't find a parking place. Couldn't find the front entrance. Couldn't find the nursery. We were so anxious, excited and nervous all at the same time. We were about to meet the mother of our child. We walk in and she was so cute (birthmom N- from here on out she'll be called N. (She said she didn't even look like she had a baby over the phone...and boy was she right. Cute as a button and so very nice.) She is 23 years old and 5'9" (same height as me!). When we walked in the room Jeremiah wasn't there, she had kept him in the room with her most of the time and was so sweet to cuddle him and love on him until we got there. He was in the nursery getting something checked out when we got there so she asked if we wanted to go see him. We walked down the hall to a windowed nursery, but she declared that he wasn't in sight. She asked at the desk and they said he'd be out in just a few minutes. We went back to the room and gave her her gift. As we got to know her we liked her more and more. Luckily we got one pic of us together. We were able to spend most of the day together as the lawyer couldn't get there till 3pm. We were so glad that the lawyer could come out on Christmas Eve it didn't make that much of a difference what time he came.

A little bit later as we were telling each other a little bit about ourselves they wheeled the baby in. N's perspective was amazing. She immediately was saying things like- "this is the baby's mom and dad"- to the nurse as she introduced us. I know it was still super hard on her, but we were so glad she was steadfast in her decision to give baby Jeremiah up for adoption.

Before the lawyer even got there both the birthmom and baby were discharged. We were allowed to stay in the room until the lawyer arrived. He met with N alone---which took forever by the way and made me super nervous. It was just taking a really long time to fill out all of the paperwork. Then he met with us alone and just like that we were done.

Utah's laws govern the adoption since the agency we were working with is from Utah so once she signed we were good to go. The revocation period- (the time in which the birthmom has to change her mind)- is at the time in which she signs in Utah.

We walk in and N is so so very sad. IT BROKE MY HEART. She KNEW she was making the best decision for her child, but it was still a very very hard decision. I was ecstatic and overjoyed, but seeing her pain made me feel the need to stifle my joy. Hospital policy was that the mother had to carry the child out of the hospital while being wheeled out in a wheelchair. It was literally one of the hardest things I've ever seen. She was so very very sad. There are no other words. I gave her a charm bracelet that I had worn the past few months. It had one charm that said believe. I told her that we believe in her and that we believe she made the right decision. (for me it meant that I believe that someday I would be a mom.) One charm said E- so she would remember who she passed on her child on to to be his mom. And a moon (I saw adoption jewelry that said UNDER THE SAME MOON and it was so precious, but was way too expensive- I got a moon charm at Target and told everyone what it symbolized.) We got outside and loaded Jeremiah in our brand spanking new pimp car seat and N was wheeled to her mom's car. I got out of the car (the nurse told me to get in so that I could strap him in good) ran over to N and said THANK YOU while giving her a hug.
We both had tears. Mine of great joy and hers of great sadness. What a crazy thing this adoption journey has been so far.

We drove quite a ways so as to get closer to home for when they tell us we can leave GA. It seemed like it took forever. I kept thinking is this real- do we really have a BABY in our CAR! OH MY GOODNESS.

And that is the rest of the story of how we met Jeremiah Cole Doss.

So not prepared

2009-12-25T08:56:00.000-08:00

We headed to Martin on Tuesday to spend a couple of days with the Doss's in case Darby Layne came early. I was soooo praying that the birthmom would be ready for her c-section when she went to her check-up on the 23rd because I knew that if not it would all fall through. The car seat has been in the trunk for awhile just in case we needed it real quick and to free up space in the house. ;) I also made sure to bring the baby bag. It had just some blankets and newborn GIRL outfits in it. I had taken out all the neutral ones since we were forsure getting a girl. Ha!
Once we got the call that baby girl was not ours, but baby boy was we opened gifts with the Doss's and headed to GA. Luckily the gifts I asked for were clothes since we had only packed to stay 3 days and now we will be hanging out awhile. I have found a laundry mat down the street, but of course it's not open for Christmas Eve or Christmas. (our hotel has a washer and dryer, but the washer is broken) they called the Hampton inn down the street to see if I coul wash Jeremiah's things there. Luckily they said that was fine and we are all set for his clothes and things.
Our hotel room has a microwave and a fridge. Last night I ha made a long list of things we could use to help us out and was headed out to walmart to get them knowing that EVERYTHING would be closed today. Unfortunately Walmart was already closed. I drove a little further and found an open gas station where I was able to get us some food for today and snacks and drinks. (The hospital sent us home with enough formula for the baby and we got diapers an wipes on the way down.) We are making it just fine and are taking turns getting some shut eye. :)
Jeremiah is sweet as can be and we are just So blessed! Thanks for your prayers.
-Emily

It's a BOY

2009-12-23T21:07:00.000-08:00

Regretfully Baby Girl's birthmom is headed to Utah. She is desiring to have an early C-Section and the doctors in Indiana aren't willing to do an early one. With that said the costwent up substantially and we were unable to follow her to Utah. But on that same phone call we got this amazingly wonderful news- there is a baby boy who was born Dec. 22nd who is healthy and awaiting adoptive parents. He and his birthmom are in a hospital in Georgia. It's 11:15 Valpo/Clarksville time and we just hit Atlanta. We are about to stop at a hotel then drive a few more hours tomorrow, BUT we get to meet baby boy Doss- Jeremiah Cole and birthmom N tomorrow!!!! I can't edit this cause I'm on my phone so please excuse any typos.

We are VERY VERY excited!!!

GracePoint Christmas

2009-12-22T05:27:00.000-08:00

We had an AMAZING Christmas service at GracePoint on Sunday.
We had to rent out a different location and ended up having a night time service instead of a Sunday morning service.
Let's just say it was unbelievable.
A whole bunch of us had to stand THE ENTIRE TIME. We ran out of chairs. I mean not just 2 or 3 of us stood, but tons of us. We were having conversations about safety issues and wondering if we had reached capacity.
So crazy how many people showed up (OVER 275!!!)
Valpo Life ran an online ad. That's a local website that lets people in the community know what's going on.
We had so many people invite people. (Someone looked at me and said I didn't expect everyone we invited to actually show up. ha!)
The music was FABULOUS- thanks the Daniel Doss's efforts.
The message was SPOT ON- thanks to Ben Lamb's efforts.
There were tons of volunteers who got there early and stay late- completely a team effort that did NOT go UNNOTICED!
The whole service was so God honoring and I believe truly impacted our community for Christ.

Here are some pics taken from Daniel's iPhone...hard to see I know, but look at ALL THOSE PEOPLE!

We're both right.

2009-12-20T10:19:00.000-08:00

I showed Daniel my blog the other day.
I really love my blog. And wanted to share it with him (especially since it's so festive right now). He's not an avid blog follower and I really don't get my feelings hurt by that, but I wanted him to see how cute it looks.
This part made me laugh though.
I was showing him the pics from the shower and the last few posts and his response....

Are you ready?

"You misspelled eying."

He knows best that I'm not a good speller, but you see Blogger has spell check, and it approved of my spelling so I was off to prove him wrong.

After looking it up in the online dictionary we found that there are two spellings acceptable spellings for the word eyeing and eying.

We were both right. :)

Baby Shower From GracePoint Ladies

2009-12-16T20:54:00.001-08:00

So much fun! I can't believe all the fun stuff we got!!! Wow! So grateful for our church family!

The Cake:

The Food:

The Banner- "IT'S A GIRL!"

The goodies!!!

The Diaper Cake. (one of two!!!)

Me opening gifts!

Lots of oohs and ahhs from the ladies!!!

THE CRIB!!!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!

Fun Fun Fun

2009-12-12T10:23:00.001-08:00

A list of random fun things:

I hate doing laundry, but I love the smell of Dreft.

I've never owned socks so small.

I've been googling baby lotion for extra dry skin since this Indiana weather has been hard on my own skin.

I've been eying babies out in public to see how other families are able to keep them warm.

I've never owned cold weather garb like I do now. We had to go shopping last night for some things to keep us warm. (It was 4 degrees when I left for work on Thursday, but I managed to stay warm.) It's amazing the things they have up here to help keep out the cold.

We haven't heard much about the details of the birthmom's doctor's appointment, but we do know that at her next appointment she will have her C Section scheduled.

So excited to be having a baby shower on Wednesday from our GracePoint family. I had to go to Toys-R-Us/Babies-R-Us and Target to update our registry to include some baby girl things.

Today we watched Say Yes to the Dress in a whole new light; we are going to be parents to a baby girl!!!

Adoption Auction

2009-12-10T17:26:00.001-08:00

Go check out my cyber friend's blog for her Adoption Auction- she goes to church at Grace Community in Clarksville, but somehow we never met in real life.

She is also using Faithful Adoption Consultants. So hopefully she will need that money sooner rather than later. :)

She's got lots of goodies and all for sale to raise money for their adoption- shop away!

http://www.erchickyrn.blogspot.com

Crazy Dream

2009-12-10T06:30:00.000-08:00

Ever have a dream that shakes you even after you wake up?

Last night I dreamed that someone we love dearly came to Daniel and I and told us that we owed them lots of money. That they knew we had some money set aside for the adoption, but that we needed to pay back this debt first. We had no idea that this debt was out there and that it needed to be paid back so it was a shock to us. I was in tears because we couldn't adopt since we had to pay the debt we didn't even know about first.

CRAZY DREAMS! I guess since we've heard about so many adoption situations and none of them have worked out then my subconscious is making up things to happen so the adoption won't go through.

Back to real life: The birthmom was supposed to have an ultrasound and check up yesterday, but I haven't heard anything yet. She is a tiny little thing and the last time she went for an check up they pushed her due date back to Jan. 14th. Every other appointment said her due date would be Jan. 4th. (If everything checks out ok she will have a C-Section two weeks before her due date...which is VERY common in adoption situations.) ***That would be as early as Dec. 21st!!! THAT IS IN 11 DAYS!!! OH MY!!!
:) :) :)

Introducing Baby Girl

2009-12-06T17:06:00.000-08:00

On Friday, December 4th, 2009 we found out about baby girl. Courtney from Faithful Adoption Consultants has been working hard to find a birthmom for us to match with. We signed up with Heart to Heart adoption agency in Utah recently. We were thinking we'd probably be flying out to Utah any day to pick up our little bundle. One birthmom didn't get on the plane to fly to Utah, one birthmom had the baby early and they placed the baby with a waiting family in Utah, then we heard about a birthmom in INDIANA!!! Heart to Heart advertises nationally so any birthmom could work with them. Our birthmom just happens to live ~30 minutes from us!!!

Hopefully we will get to talk on the phone to the birthmom tomorrow, but other than that she wants a closed adoption.

She is due January 4th, but may be able to have a C-Section as early as December 21st if everything continues to check out ok at her appointment next Wednesday.

The only thing that would make this adoption fall through would be the birthmom changing her mind. Please keep her and baby Darby Layne in your prayers. :)

~Emily

Play by Play

2009-12-02T05:25:00.000-08:00

We heard about a birthmom that needed to be matched with a family this past week. She was headed to an agency in Utah and was to arrive on Monday or Tuesday. The agency is in Utah, not sure where she was from, but she was going to fly there. She was to deliver her baby on Thursday (as in tomorrow)!!! She however decided not to get on the plane. She changed her mind about her adoption decision.

This time around I wasn't sad. Hopefully another situation like this will come up quickly.

But my eyes were opened even more to the decision these birthmoms face. I can't even imagine. Please join me in praying for birthmoms who are making such a selfless sacrifice out of love.

And specifically for one special birthmom that is going to chose us.

**Someone asked if we were next in line. The lines are kinda blurry. Some families might only want a girl- so they would be first in line for girls, but not boys.
Some families have preferences on race so they would be next in line for a certain race they chose. Some families will only find out about situations that fall within their price range...and for some strange reason all adoptions cost different amounts. (That's another post altogether.) Some families decide once they hear about the details of the situation. Some families have different things they are willing to accept as far as the birthmoms drug and alcohol use. So there really isn't a first in line thing with the situation we are in. (Maybe next time we'll go the international route where you are the next in line to get a referral.) :)

From what I understand the agencies that we would be working with get as much info as possible from the birthmom. Then let us know if we want to be presented. If we say yes based on our preferences- which are basically a healthy baby. Then she would get a chance to see our profile. At that time they try to present her with more than one profile so she has some options. She may have 2 or 3 profiles in front of her to pick from. Then (in most cases) if she picked us we would get to have a phone conversation with her and her caseworker.

We would then make travel arrangements based on when the baby was due.

--This is the more exciting part of the roller coaster ride so far. :)

Thanks for Nothing Message

2009-11-29T20:37:00.000-08:00

Check out this great message from Chad Rowland at Grace Community in Clarksville, TN.

http://www.gcomchurch.com/podcast

We crossed a few of my personal time lines lately.
I was hoping for a baby before Thanksgiving, but no baby- yet.
I was hoping for a baby before my birthday, but no baby- yet.

Some days it's harder to hope than others. Some days it's harder to trust God's plan than others.

Thanks Chad for a great message.